Love Child
by ziva2012
Summary: For all of you angst lovers out there, here is another shipper story from my vault. It's about Jack and Sam and how they might deal with those darned regs...in an alternate reality, of course! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"Love Child"

Chapter One

"Jack, I'm home!" she called, even though she suspected her husband of twelve weeks was not at home. Most likely he was still at work, and though she was disappointed, she was not surprised. These days he often worked more than eight hours a day. Urgent things were always happening at Homeworld Security. Besides he wasn't expecting her. She never knew when she could take time away from her job at Area 51, so she came to DC whenever she could.

This was her third trip since they got married, and she'd been there half a dozen times before that. She was really racking up the frequent flyer miles, but nothing could make up for the time they had to spend apart. Neither one liked their frequent separations, but still it was better than the previous eight years, when they'd had little hope of ever being together as a couple. Jack had been her CO, and the military hadn't allowed them to fraternize. So now they were able to fraternize till they dropped, which they did each time they saw each other, unless it was at some social function of course.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter, as she chose to be called at work, went upstairs to the bedroom of the townhouse the government had arranged for him when he first came to work at the Pentagon seven months ago. It was a very nice townhouse in a very nice neighborhood, but at first she'd thought it was too small. She had wanted to have a family, at least two children. She knew getting pregnant at her age was a long shot, but she hoped they could beat the odds. But then one day she had brought up the subject of children, and Jack had shot her down.

Sam thought back to that day, as she changed from her uniform into something more comfortable. It had been the same day he'd proposed to her, and they were sitting on the little dock by his cabin in Minnesota. He had asked her to go there with him for years, and she had gone once…with Daniel and Teal'c along. But this time they were there alone. He had taken a leave of absence while he sold his house in Colorado Springs. He was no longer her CO or the second-in-command of the SGC, so she had accepted his invitation.

"It's not that I don't like kids. Hell, you know me, Carter; I love kids! But…well, I had a son once, and I wasn't a very good father. You know what happened to him?" he asked, and Sam just nodded. She had heard about the accident from Daniel. Jack had never talked to her about Charlie…not one word in all the years she'd know him, so now she didn't know what to say to him.

"Losing him was… It almost killed me. I could never go through anything like that again. Besides, I don't think it would be fair to a kid to have a father as old as me."

Jack was fifty-five, while she was only forty, a fact which he often mentioned. She thought he worried too much about their age difference, but she never thought he would let it affect their lives this much. "So I hope you don't mind if it's just the two of us," he said finally, and Sam's hope of ever having a family had been crushed.

It had been a shock to her. She hadn't really agreed with his reasoning, but she respected his feelings and his wishes, and besides, she was very busy with her job. So it would be just the two of them, at least until he retired, which he planned to do in a few more years. Then he wanted to get a dog, or at least that's what he said.

Sam was seated sideways, her feet up on the sofa and her laptop on her thighs, when she heard the lock turning on the front door. She quickly got up, leaving her computer sitting open on the sofa. Then she padded to the foyer in her house shoes. Jack was just hanging his hat on a peg behind the door when she reached him.

Tackling him, her arms around his neck, she clung to him and kissed his cold cheek.

"Sam, this is a surprise! When did you get in?" he asked after giving her a quick peck on the mouth. She released him so he could take off his overcoat. The dark blue wool was sprinkled with snowflakes, and the foyer was filled with cold, winter air. Sam shivered.

"I got here this afternoon. Hurry up, it's cold in here," she said, as she began helping him out of his coats, first the heavy overcoat and then the uniform coat. She hung both on the peg hooks next to his hat, remembering to remove the protective plastic covering so that the hat wouldn't get wrinkled. Winters in DC could be brutal, and this one was turning into a doozie, to use one of Jack's Minnesota-isms.

Jack quickly removed his tie and unbuttoned his collar, and then he held onto Sam's shoulders while she got down on her knees in front of him. She had his house shoes there waiting for him, and once she had taken off his shoes and socks, he slipped his feet into them. "Awww, that feels good," he purred.

Now they shuffled into the living room and over to the fireplace, where a fire was burning brightly. Sam had made a bed on the floor, using comforters and blankets to pad the hard wood, and now she pulled Jack down. Both of them laughed as he grabbed her around the waist, the two falling in a heap onto the makeshift bed.

"Ow! I'm too old for this stuff," he complained, as she landed on top of him, her left knee striking his right one.

"Sorry! Let me kiss it and make it better," she said as she quickly unfastened his belt and his trousers. She'd had a lot of experience making her husband feel better, and it wasn't long before she had his clothes off, and she was going down on him.

Jack was enjoying having his cock in his wife's mouth, but he wanted to play too, so he sat up and pulled her Air Force sweatshirt over her head. He was happy to find that she was naked underneath. But he wasn't satisfied, so he pulled off her matching sweat pants too.

"No underwear! Why do I get the feeling you've been planning this," he said, raising one eyebrow as he grinned at her.

"Do you mind?" she asked, and then she dived for his crotch, her mouth taking him in again as he lay on his back.

Now that she was head-down, Jack pulled her body on top of his, her legs on either side of his head. Then he grabbed hold of her hips and pushed his face into her pussy, smelling her distinctive feminine scent. She was already wet for him. He could smell her! And now he tasted her too, his tongue lapping at her pink flower center until she was rolling her hips and moaning. She was very excited, but she went on sucking his cock, for which he felt grateful. God, the woman could multitask!

Sam wrapped her arms around his hips and leaned to one side, indicating she wanted him to roll with her. He did, and now they were laying on their sides. This way he didn't have to hold her aloft, and now he could use his hands for other things. It was those things which she always looked forward to the most. He had such amazing hands with long dexterous fingers! And when he used them to do all sorts of things to her, she often thought she would die from the feelings he stirred in her.

Jack rested his head on her thigh, one arm around her hips, while he stroked her ass with his other hand. She lifted her outer leg even higher and he knew what that meant. She wanted him to stick his fingers inside her, and so he did, two in her pussy and one in her ass. Then, with expert precision, he moved them in and out, while he sucked on her clit.

It was impossible for her to do anything but try to breathe now, so she let his cock slip out of her mouth while she panted, grunted and squealed! What Jack did to her often felt so damned good that she thought she'd lose her mind, but she didn't. But she did come like a rocket on the Fourth of July!

"Ooooh, oh, oh, oh, fuck yes! Ahhhiiiiii!" she cried.

Once again Jack had turned his really smart wife into a blithering idiot, and he felt very proud of himself. But now he really needed to come. So he petted her ass and legs and crooned soothing words to her, while she recovered, hoping she would get back to what she'd been doing before. She did, and it wasn't long before he was shooting his cum down her throat and chanting her name over and over again, "Sam, Sam, Sam, oh God, Sam!"

For dinner that night they ate pizza, delivered from Jack's favorite pizza place, while they sat on the makeshift bed Sam had made on the floor. She had on his shirt, and he had on his boxers and undershirt, and they sat, shoulder to shoulder, with their backs against the sofa. While they ate they talked about many things, including his work and hers. And since they were on the subject, Sam decided to bring up something she'd been thinking about for months.

"I've been thinking…" she began, but Jack interrupted her.

"When aren't you?" he teased, smiling around a mouthful of sausage, mushrooms and cheese. Sam bumped his arm with hers, causing him to smear tomato sauce on his cheek, which she promptly wiped off with a paper napkin.

"Jack, I'm trying to be serious. I've been thinking about changing jobs. I could transfer to the Pentagon. They're looking for someone to head up their research department. We'd have more time together…and I'd have time for a baby," she added, hoping he wouldn't get upset. But he did.

"We are NOT having that discussion again," he said in a no nonsense tone of voice.

"But you wouldn't have to do much. We can afford a nanny."

"Sam, I don't want to talk about this," he said, and then he pushed himself to his feet. Sam rose up on her knees and grabbed his hand. She was determined not to let the evening end with an argument.

"Please, sit down. I won't mention it again, but I would like to see you more." Jack sat down, and Sam put her head on his shoulder. She hugged his arm to her chest and turned toward him, needing to get closer to him. His body felt stiff now, and it made her feel scared. She didn't want to lose him, so she kissed his smooth, tanned neck, just above the white undershirt and spoke gently to him. "I miss you," she said against his skin.

"I miss you too," he said, and then he bent his head down and kissed her on the mouth. Sam parted her lips, thankful that he wasn't going to brood all night about their disagreement.

When Jack ended the kiss, he said, "Put in for the transfer." He knew he had spoken harshly to her, so he wanted to make it up to her. But he had to be honest; he didn't think the folks at Area 51 would let her go. "Just don't expect General Murphy to be happy about it. He'll probably offer you more money to stay."

"Then I'll tell him that being with my husband is worth more to me," she replied, and then she slid her hand between the flaps of his shorts, where she found his limp penis. And as they kissed, and she massaged him, he became erect enough for her to mount him where he was seated. Then she rode him like a woman possessed, until both of them were lost in the throes of another climax.

Sam was able to stay in Washington, DC for only two nights this time, and it was harder than ever for her to leave. She was determined to ask for a transfer the minute she got back to Nevada, but her superiors had other plans for her.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

SG-1, led by Sam, emerged from the wormhole and limped down the gate ramp at the SGC. Or at least Sam limped. Daniel and Teal'c were unscathed, except for their pride.

"Colonel, what happened out there?" General Landry asked her, a concerned frown on his face.

"My strategy to win their trust failed, Sir."

"They are much more primitive than I'd hoped," Daniel admitted reluctantly. He wasn't sure where he'd gone wrong, but he blamed himself for this.

"They are indeed an uncivilized race," Teal'c intoned.

"I expect a full report just as soon as the doctor checks you out. Now get to the infirmary, Colonel, before you drip blood on the newly-scrubbed floor. I have a couple of guests coming for a tour of the base this afternoon…two senators. I wouldn't want them to think I don't run a tight ship around here," Hank Landry said, as he looked down at the bloody wound in Sam's left thigh.

"Yes, Sir," she said, and then she allowed the infirmary staff to put her on a gurney.

Later in the briefing room….

"I have taken P3X-909 off the list of safe planets. I see no reason to risk anyone's life on that place again," Landry remarked.

"I'm afraid I have to disagree, Sir. If I could just find a way to communicate with their leader, I think…" Daniel hated to give up, but he was interrupted by Landry.

"I appreciate your dedication, Doctor Jackson, but I can't afford to waste time on Neanderthals, when the President and the Joint Chiefs are pressing me for new technologies…and new allies. Now that the Asgard are gone, we really need someone out there to watch our backs."

"I know that, Sir, but there could be something on the planet that could be of benefit to mankind, like medicines and minerals, things not that easily detected." It wasn't in Daniel to give up. So even though he knew he could be a pest, he never quit without a fight.

Landry let out a tired-sounding sigh. "Colonel, what do you think?"

"Daniel could be right, Sir. We could send a drone to check out the interior. Also…I've been working on a robot that could take plant and soil samples," Sam revealed.

"That's a great idea! How far from ready is it? Colonel?"

Sam suddenly felt dizzy. "I'm not sure…. I don't…"

The next thing Sam knew, she was waking up in the infirmary.

"How do you feel, Colonel?" Doctor Carolyn Lam asked her.

The pretty young doctor was General Landry's daughter, but she had gotten this far without his help, and Sam respected her for it. "Better. What happened?" she asked, shaking her head to try and clear it.

"You passed out in the briefing room. Do you remember now?"

"Oh, yes, I do now. Why did I pass out? What's wrong with me?"

"You have an infection. I got your blood tests back, and they showed a dramatic increase in your white blood cell count. I've given you another dose of antibiotics, and I'm going to keep you here for at least another forty-eight hours, just to make sure it's working."

"Thank you." The doctor patted Sam's hand and started to leave, but then she turned back around.

"Oh, you've gotten several phone calls from a certain general. I think you should call him right away."

"I will. Thanks!"

The phone rang several times before Jack's male secretary answered. "General O'Neill's office.

"Sergeant Barnes, this is Colonel Carter. Is he in?"

"Yes, Ma'am! Just a minute, please." Sam waited for only a few seconds before hearing Jack's voice.

"Sam! What happened? All the doctor would tell me was that you weren't in any danger," he complained irritably.

"I'm fine now, or at least I will be. I just have an infection."

"An infection? How'd you get it?"

"I got it on a mission. The natives were quite primitive." She didn't want to tell him everything, but she knew he'd find out eventually. "I was shot with an arrow," she finally admitted.

"An arrow?! Why the hell does Landry have you messing with folks like that?"

"We didn't know they were that primitive, Jack. In fact, the hieroglyphs we saw from the MALP seemed to be those of a very advanced civilization. But apparently they either left the planet or they died for some reason. We don't know, and we probably won't ever know now, because General Landry won't let us go back there."

"Well, at least he's got that right," Jack said critically. "So when can you come home?" he asked.

Sam knew he meant home as in Washington, DC. "Not for at least a couple of days. Doctor Lam wants to keep me under observation till then. I'll get a plane out as soon as I'm released," she promised.

"Good! I miss you."

"I miss you too." She missed him something awful! Sometimes, like now, when he wasn't sitting beside her bed in the infirmary, she wished she could go back in time to when he was her CO. At least back then she'd been able to see him every day. But that was in the past, and a lot of things had changed.

Two days later Sam was back in DC for a month-long medical leave. She spent three weeks of it with Jack, just enjoying his company. He was able to take some time off too, so they finally got up to Boston and Plymouth like they'd wanted to do for months. They stayed in a quaint old inn, where they spent their afternoons and nights making love. And in between their love making sessions, they took long walks on the beach, and they tried a new restaurant every night, dining on all sorts of delicious seafood.

But then, at the end of the third week, Sam told Jack that she had to get back to the SGC. "I really need to go, Jack," she said as he fondled her breast. She had promised General Landry that she would finish her work on the sample-collecting robot before the end of the fiscal year, so he'd have at least some small success to report to his superiors.

Jack wasn't going to make this easy on her. He wanted her to quit that blasted job, before she got herself killed! Her leg injury had healed alright, but what would it be the next time, an arrow through her heart? That would be like an arrow through HIS heart.

"Stay. You still have another week. You can work on the robot when you get back. Why do you always work so hard? The program will go on without you, you know? Why don't you put in for a transfer here or to Langley?"

"What would I do at Langley? Besides, I've only been back at the SGC for five months. I can't ask for a transfer now."

"So they've got you again, while I have nothing!" he spat, rising from their bed. Then he marched into the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Jaack! Jack, don't be like this," she said, rushing to the door. When she opened it, he was standing at the toilet, peeing. He flushed and turned on the shower. And before even waiting for the water to get hot, he stepped in. He always did that, and it amazed her that he had such a tolerance for cold water.

Sam used the toilet. Then she got into the shower with him, moving in behind him, her arms around his waist. And with her head against his back, she hugged him tightly. "Please, don't be mad at me, Jack. I love you more than I can say, but I have an obligation to the people I work with. I can't just leave whenever I feel like it." She was a bit startled when he pried her arms free.

"You're mine, damn it! I'm tired of that damned place always coming between us!" he complained, and then he quickly changed places with her, getting behind her and pushing her against the shower wall. Roughly he kneed her legs apart, and shoved his cock in between the cheeks of her ass. But he wasn't hard enough yet, so instead of shoving inside her, he bit the muscle on top of her shoulder, the one that made her squirm. And as he did so, his big hands squeezed her breasts, his fingers pinching and pulling her nipples, until she was moving her hips against his growing cock, while whining like a bitch in heat.

The sounds she made turned him on even more, and soon he was as hard as a rock. She wanted it, and he intended to give her what she wanted, so he swiveled his hips around until the tip of his cock was inside her folds, and then he pushed in hard, spearing her on his firm length. She was his, at least for now, and Jack enjoyed every second of their coupling. If she was going to leave him again, at least she would carry this moment with her to remember him by.

They didn't see each other again that month or the next.

SG-1 had just come back from a mission. It was after their de-briefing when Carolyn Lam called Sam's lab and asked her to come back to the infirmary.

"I got the results of your blood test, Sam, and I must admit I got a surprise."

"A surprise? What do you mean?"

"You're pregnant."

"Pregnant?! But how? I'm on birth control." Sam felt like someone had just run over her with a truck! She couldn't be pregnant! Sitting down hard on the chair opposite Dr. Lam's desk, Sam's mind was reeling.

"I've been thinking about that. Sometimes an antibiotic can interfere with birth control, and you were on quite a heavy dosage there for a while. It's the only explanation I can think of. I hope you're happy about this?" Carolyn asked, giving Sam a curious look.

"Uh…yes! Yes, of course I am. I never thought I'd have a child, given my job and my age."

"Many women over forty have successful pregnancies, Sam, so there's no reason to worry."

"I know. I'm just surprised is all." But she was worried. What was Jack going to say? Would he change his mind about having children now that she was pregnant? She hoped he would, but what if he didn't? She might need to consider her options.

"How far along am I?"

"About seven weeks, so there's still time to terminate the pregnancy if we find anything wrong…or if you decide to do it for other reasons," Carolyn said guardedly.

"Thank you. Well, I guess I'd better go tell my husband," Sam said with a little laugh, and then she left the doctor's office

Figuring it would be better to get it over with, Sam flew to DC the following afternoon to tell Jack her news.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

This time when Jack came home from work, Sam was pacing the floor like a tigress. She had almost gone to his office, but finally she decided just to wait there for him. But it was after 20:00 when he finally got home, and she was starting to worry, to imagine all sorts of things, from a traffic accident to dinner with some other woman. So, without realizing how she sounded, she jumped on him the second he walked in the front door.

"Where've you been? I've been worried sick about you!"

"Hello to you too! I had to work late. Maybe if I'd know you were coming, I would have left work earlier," he said, testily.

"I hadn't planned on being here this weekend, but something's come up that I need to tell you," she said, wringing her hands together, as she watched him hang up his coats.

It was raining today, so he slipped out of his damp shoes. But this time there were no house shoes for him to put on, and he wondered what was up with his wife? She seemed very antsy. He just hoped it wasn't about her job. If they were putting her at even more risk, he was going to call Landry and chew him out! He had been thinking about phoning him anyway, but Jack wasn't one to confide in people, even when the future of his marriage depended on it. That was the reason his first wife had left him. He knew it. He also knew he had to do things differently this time around, or he might lose Sam too.

"Okay, come upstairs with me while I change. You can tell me what's on your mind," he said, and then he climbed the stairs.

Sam followed him, wishing this was behind her. She was afraid what his reaction would be when she told him she was pregnant, but she had to tell him! She had no choice. She had seen Jack get really mad many times before, though most of those times he had not been angry at her. When he was angry at her, she wanted to run and hide from his angry face, which didn't look like Jack at all, not the kind, caring Jack she loved. But she knew she had to get this over with, before he found out from someone else.

Jack kept an eye on Sam while he changed into sweat pants and a T-shirt. Then, since she hadn't said a word, he sat down on the bed next to her and took her hands in his. "Honey, tell me what's wrong."

"It's not something wrong necessarily. It's just…. Jack, I'm….I'm pregnant," she announced timidly.

Jack let go of her hands and stood up, his face taking on that look of doom and gloom as he yelled at her. "Damn it, Sam, we had an agreement! At least I thought we did."

"I didn't do it on purpose! It was the antibiotic I was taking for the wound in my thigh. Carolyn said it interfered with my birth control pills."

"Then there's still time to end it. You can make an appointment when you get back, but you'll have to see someone else. I don't think Doctor Lam can help us with this." He figured there were probably legal issues she wouldn't want to face, and he couldn't blame her.

Sam was flabbergasted. She expected him to be upset, but she never expected this!

"You'll go to the doctor the minute you get home, right?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes, but I think you're right; I don't think Carolyn can help us." She felt devastated to think that he really didn't want the baby. "I'm not sure anyone can," she added more quietly.

"What?"

"I said, I wouldn't ask her to. Jack, are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, I'm sure," he said, and then he left the room and went downstairs.

Sam forced herself not to cry. She figured it wouldn't do any good to get all weepy. She needed to think clearly. It wasn't a person yet, was it? It was just an embryo, right?

When she got back to Colorado Springs, she made an appointment at a local abortion clinic. She planned to go the following day. But as it turned out, she was sent on an emergency assignment to the Alpha site, where their mainframe had been infected with a virus. Teal'c went with her, while Daniel stayed at the SGC, where he was working on translating some Ancient tablets.

They returned two days later, and during her post-mission exam Carolyn asked her how she was feeling, and if Jack was pleased about the pregnancy. And even though Teal'c was seated on the bed behind her, Sam broke down and wept.

Later that day Daniel showed up in her lab.

"Teal'c said you were upset earlier. What's wrong?"

"Teal'c is a nosy busy-body," she said, but she smiled slightly.

"You know if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

Over the years Daniel had become like a brother to her. "I know, and I'm sorry I haven't told you. It's just….very personal." Sam took his hand then. She needed his friendship now more than ever, so she told him. "I'm pregnant."

"But that's great news….isn't it?" He couldn't imagine Sam not being happy about it, and as for Jack, the man was a kid magnet! Every time they'd gone to a planet where there were children, the kids had followed Jack around like he was the Pied Piper. And Jack had loved it, so he had no idea why Sam was so upset.

"You would think so, wouldn't you? But…well, Jack and I have talked about having children." Sam's eyes filled with tears now. "Daniel, he doesn't want any! He wants me to get an abortion!" she almost shrieked. Daniel pulled her into his arms and held her until she stopped crying.

"What are you going to do? Is there anything I can do to help?" He was angry at Jack, but mainly he wanted to help Sam get through this.

Now that she'd had time to think it over, she had come to one conclusion. "I'm not sure. But I do know one thing; I can't end my pregnancy, Daniel. I want this baby."

Four days later she was back in DC again. But this time she didn't wait for Jack to come home; she went straight from the airport to his office.

"Sam! This is a nice surprise," he said as he pulled her into his arms for a short but powerful kiss. He hadn't expected to see her again so soon, and he had a feeling her visit was about the baby. "I don't think you came here so I can make love to you on my desk," he joked nervously.

"I couldn't do it. I made the appointment, but I couldn't go through with it."

"Didn't you spend the last three days working on the computer at the Alpha base?" He got updates on all the goings on at the SGC, so he always knew where she was…for the most part.

"Yes, I did. I missed the appointment I had at the clinic on Tuesday because of it. But I'm glad I did. Now that I've had time to think it over, I don't want to abort this baby, Jack. I want to have it!" She wanted nothing more than to have his child; she realized that now. Sam saw the look on his face, and in a way she felt sorry for him. He really was afraid to be a father again. So she kissed him on the cheek and took his hand in hers. She had to reassure him that he wouldn't be expected to raise the child, unless that's what he wanted.

"I'll always love you, Jack, but from now on my life will revolve around our child. If you ever change your mind, you know where we'll be. I'll pack my things and be gone before you get home," she said, and then she turned and left.

Jack had been stunned by her announcement that she was leaving him, but he wasn't really surprised. Once again he hadn't been able to give a woman the emotional support she needed. He knew the fault lay with him, and he figured Sam and the child would be better off without him. He was crippled, damaged from everything that had happened to him, and not just in the military. Losing his parents at a young age had changed him too, he was sure of it. It was almost like he expected to lose everyone he loved. And if they didn't leave him out of boredom, he had to make sure to do something that would drive them away. Well, he had certainly done a number on Sam.

He had never been able to help himself to a better life. He had only ever been good at one thing, and that was putting his life on the line for someone he didn't even know, fighting for the rights of those who couldn't protect themselves. And though a desk job meant he couldn't do that first-hand anymore, he still signed the papers that sent other men and women out to do what he had done for thirty years. So now he was alone again, and maybe that was how it should be. For a while he'd had someone to make his path in life a less lonely one, but now he would have to go on without her. It wouldn't be easy, but he knew he could do it. He'd been down this road before.

Sam went to the townhouse and packed up the clothes and things she kept there, all of which fit into two suitcases. Then she called a taxi. She spent that night at a hotel near the airport, and early the following morning she flew back to Colorado Springs, to begin her new life as a single parent.

When she got back to the SGC, General Landry called her into his office. She knew what it was about before he even began talking; as base CMO Carolyn had been obligated to tell him about the baby.

"You can work in your lab until after the baby comes, and then it will be up to you whether or not you want to rejoin SG-1. I would appreciate it if you would give me a list of officers who you feel are qualified to replace you on the team."

"Yes, of course."

"I imagine Jack is over the moon about becoming a father again," he continued, and Sam looked down at the desk, at a loss for words. But she knew she would have to tell her CO eventually that she and her husband were separated, so she decided to get it over with. But she did decide to keep Jack's feelings about the pregnancy just between them.

"Actually, Jack and I are separated."

"Oh! I'm really sorry to hear that, Sam. Perhaps you can still work things out. My wife and I were married for over twenty years, before we decided to split. Or I should say, before she threw me out," he said, chuckling to himself. "Anyway, I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. Of course you'll get the standard three month maternity leave, but if you need a little time before that…."

"No, I'm good. In fact, I think I need to work. It helps take my mind off my problems," Sam admitted. And it did help a lot, but she still had to fight to focus her thoughts on her job, instead of on Jack and how much he had hurt her.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

After her talk with General Landry, Sam went to the commissary to get something for breakfast. As usual she had left home without eating. She knew it was a bad habit she would need to change, for the baby's sake, so she figured she might as well begin today.

When she saw that Daniel and Teal'c were there, she expected Daniel would be full of questions about her trip to DC. And though she wasn't looking forward to talking to him about Jack, she knew she'd have to do it eventually. Daniel was like a brother to her, more so than her real brother, Mark, had ever been.

Mark was anti-military, and except for their father's funeral, he had barely spoken to her since she joined the Air Force. Their father's job had been the real bone of contention between them. Jacob Carter was always away on one mission or another, and their mother had been lonely and depressed. So when she died of an overdose of sleeping pills, Mark placed all the blame on their father. Jacob had died never knowing his grandchildren, and now he wouldn't know her child either, and that fact made her feel awful.

Daniel was getting his morning coffee, when he spotted Sam. He thought she looked down, so he quickly put the cap on his thermal mug and rushed over to her.

"Sam, how'd it go?" he asked, and though she smiled at him, he was certain she was putting on a brave face.

"Hi, Daniel. I'll tell you later. I really don't want to talk about it here," she said quietly, her eyes darting around the room as they stood in line. There were about twenty people in the room, so it was no place to have a personal discussion. Besides, she already felt like people were staring at her.

Teal'c joined them in line, and Sam smiled at him. "Hey, Teal'c."

"Hello, Colonel Carter. I hope you are well?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

"Let's all go to my lab and eat. But first you're buying a real breakfast," Daniel said, nudging her toward the yogurt section.

Sam chose some yogurt and granola to go with her bagel and hot tea, Daniel got an apple Danish and a banana, and Teal'c piled his plate full of fresh fruit, and then together they carried their food to Daniel's lab/office, where they sat around his desk and ate.

"Now tell us what happened," Daniel said, and then he popped the last bite of Danish into his mouth and began licking his fingers.

"I think you can guess. Jack wouldn't change his mind, so I brought my stuff home. We're separated…not legally, but it amounts to the same thing."

Teal'c didn't say anything, but it was clear from his facial expression, which looked as though he'd been sucking a lemon, that he was disturbed by her news.

Daniel threw up his hands in exasperation. "No! Sam, you can't give up that easily!"

"What do you expect me to do, Daniel? You know how stubborn Jack can be when he thinks he's right."

"I just don't get it; why is he so against having kids?"

"He thinks he was a bad father."

"He's still blaming himself for Charlie's death?"

"Uh huh." Sam nodded as she stirred granola into her yogurt.

"The boy was curious, as most children are. It was not O'Neill's fault," Teal'c stated.

"We know that, but apparently Jack doesn't. And he says he's too old to start a family, that it wouldn't be fair to the child."

"And letting a child grow up with only one parent IS fair! Jack isn't thinking straight, Sam. Maybe I should go have a talk with him."

"No, Daniel! You are not getting involved in this…either of you! I don't want Jack mad at you too. Just keep out of it."

Neither man answered her, so all she could do was hope that they would do as she asked.

"Well, no matter what happens, Sam, we'll be here for you. You can count on us," Daniel assured her. This brought tears to her eyes, especially when Teal'c added his trademark response, "Indeed!"

She knew she could count on these two men, and knowing it did make her feel better. But they could never replace Jack. He was and would always be the love of her life.

Two days later…

His day have been a long, tiring one, and Jack really wanted to just go home and drop into bed. But when his secretary told him he had a visitor named Daniel Jackson, Jack had a feeling that his day was just about to get worse.

"Daniel, this is a surprise," Jack said warily. This was definitely one of those 'other shoe dropping' moments.

"Hi, Jack. I'm not going to beat around the bush. You are the most pig-headed, stubborn son-of-a-bitch I have ever known!"

"Well, I love you too, Daniel. I assume your visit has to do with me and Sam, so I will just say this once; stay out of our business! Now, if you don't mind, I'm tired and I'm going home."

"Jack, you can't just ignore the fact that you and Sam are having a baby!"

"She's having a baby, Daniel. I'm not."

"Jack, that's not fair! How can you say that? You helped make it."

"I am not having THAT discussion with you," Jack growled low in his throat. Then he slammed the top drawer of his desk shut and locked it, dropping the keys in his pocket as he stood up.

Jack shrugged into his uniform jacket and picked his hat up from the credenza, and then he opened the office door. "I'm leaving now, Daniel. So unless you want me to call the MP's to come and throw you out, I suggest you leave too."

"Can we at least have dinner together? I came all this way."

"Yah, sure. Come on. I need to eat anyway."

"Thanks, Jack," Daniel said grudgingly, and then he followed Jack out of the building.

Jack chose one of his favorite Italian restaurants, where they had pasta and wine. They talked about some of the missions they been on together, the places they'd been and people they'd met. Jack even admitted that he missed going off world with SG-1, and that he couldn't wait to retire. Daniel talked about his desire to write a novel, and about how different the SGC was since Jack and Hammond had left.

They had a fairly civilized dinner, until Daniel brought up the subject of Sam and the baby again, and then Jack got up and walked out.

Daniel took the red eye home to Colorado.

As the weeks and months went by, Jack tried not to think about Sam or the baby, but one day the papers regarding her maternity leave crossed his desk. Time seemed to have passed without him even being aware of it, and the realization that she was only a few weeks away from giving birth to his child hit him very hard. He had tried to convince himself that she was better off without him, that the baby would be better off without him, but that didn't mean he felt better off without them.

He missed Sam desperately! But he knew he had hurt her irreparably, and that she would never forgive him for what he had done. How could she? He had rejected his own flesh and blood! And why? All because he didn't feel capable of being a good father. It had been all about HIM, what he felt, not what Sam felt. He could see that now. He was a selfish son-of-a-bitch who didn't deserve Sam or the baby, so if he had regrets, if he was lonely, then it was exactly what he deserved.

So Jack decided to plug along each day as best he could, to bide his time. And just as soon as he had fulfilled his promise to General Hammond, he would retire for the last time. And then he would take his sorry ass into the wilds of Minnesota, where hopefully he could escape all reminders of what he'd lost, and where no one would ever depend on him for anything again.

It was a warm, early autumn day when Sam gave birth to a healthy 7 pound, 4 ounce baby girl. Daniel was there to coach her through the delivery, and to cut the umbilical cord when Elizabeth Grace O'Neill was born. And when Sam was released from the infirmary with her new daughter, Daniel and Teal'c took them home.

In her spare time Sam had painted her guest room a buttercup yellow. The guys had installed shelves for everything she would need above the changing table, and they had helped Sam hang new curtains and put the baby furniture together too. So now the room was all ready for little Beth, which was what Sam had decided to call her daughter.

"I think she likes the mobile you bought her, Teal'c," Daniel remarked, as the baby looked up at the circling stars and moons.

"I believe she is too young to see it yet," the big man opined.

"Maybe, but she'll love it when she gets older."

"Come on, let's watch the hockey game. We can order pizza for dinner," Sam suggested softly, and then the three tiptoed out of the baby's room.

And so the three friends spent that evening together. And for the next two months of Sam's maternity leave, the three became even closer. Daniel even helped her interview applicants for the job of nanny. And it wasn't long before Sam hired a young woman named Anna, and Sam was back at work in her lab.

She had decided not to rejoin SG-1 until the baby was weaned. In the meantime, she pumped her breasts each morning so Anna could feed Beth during the day. And for the first time in her career Sam left work regularly at 17:00 hours, so that she could spend time with her daughter.

The child thrived, and Sam was relatively happy, as long as she didn't think about Jack. And then, when Beth was almost eight months old, Sam went off world with SG-1 for the first time in fifteen months.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

It was supposed to be a peace negotiation. SG-1, led by Sam, was assigned the task because of Daniel's expertise. SG-2 was assigned as back-up just in case they were needed. The teams traveled to the Tok'ra base planet via the stargate, and then they went to Yu's planet in a Tok'ra ship. The trip took almost two weeks, and the whole mission was based on what the Tok'ra had told them.

Lord Yu, one of the few Goa'uld system lords left in the galaxy, was supposedly wanting to make a peace treaty with the Tauri and the Tok'ra, for the benefit of his followers. He knew he didn't have long to live, and he wanted his people to be left alone after he was gone. He wanted them to be able to live out their lives without having to worry about retribution from the Tauri or the Tok'ra, or so the Tok'ra had said.

But the part about the Tok'ra being in favor of the treaty had been a lie. The Tok'ra had used Yu's trust in the Tauri to get them access to the Goa'uld system lord. They already had other ships there, lying in wait. And when the members of the SGC arrived, they used the opportunity to get inside Yu's palace.

The Tok'ra tried to kill Lord Yu and his first prime, Oshu. During the fight two members of the SGC were lost. Sergeant Andersen of SG-2 had been shot and killed by one of Yu's Jaffa, and Lt. Col. Carter had been captured.

And then, as Daniel and Teal'c watched with heavy hearts, Yu, his first prime and a company of his Jaffa warriors, fled the planet in Yu's mother ship, taking Sam with them. There had been nothing they could do, and now Sam was gone.

Back at the SGC, Daniel and Teal'c related their story to General Landry, who was appalled to hear how the Tok'ra had used their friendship with the Tauri in such a treacherous way.

"After all we've done for them," he growled.

"I don't think they see it that way, General. They think it's we who owe them," Daniel pointed out.

"I don't care what they think! They are no longer our allies. Their deceit is unforgivable!" the man shouted, rising from his chair. Then he sat back down. "I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson. This is just too much," he said, shaking his head.

"I understand why you're so upset. I'm upset too. My best friend has just been abducted and taken God-only-knows-where because the Tok'ra lied about their intentions. But I think we should remember that this plot was not sanctioned by all Tok'ra." After the failed mission, communications had arrived from various Tok'ra, explaining that there had been a rift in their leadership, that not all of them had been in favor of using deceit to rid themselves of the last major Goa'uld system lord. Daniel felt he knew some of these Tok'ra well enough to believe them, but he also realized that General Landry did not.

"Maybe it wasn't sanctioned by all of them, Doctor Jackson, but the outcome is the same. I've lost one of my best officers! Reynolds, you will take your team out to look for Colonel Carter. Take SG-5 with you. You'll gate to the Alpha site in one hour. I'll have the Prometheus waiting there for you."

"Yes, Sir. But Sir, where do we look? We have no idea where Yu's taken her," Reynolds pointed out.

Hank Landry closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. He knew Reynolds was right. So if he couldn't send teams out to look for Colonel Carter, what could he do?

Jack got the phone call late one afternoon when he was about to leave for home. "General, it's General Landry on the phone," Jack's assistant announced. Jack took a deep breath before answering, his gut instinct telling him that something was wrong.

"What's up, Hank?"

"I'm afraid I have some bad news, Jack; Sam's missing."

"How'd it happen?"

"You know I can't go into details on the phone. What I can tell you is, SG-1 was sent to negotiate a treaty. The mission turned out to be a ruse designed by some so-called allies of ours. There was a fire fight. One member of SG-2 was killed, and Sam was taken captive. We think she's alive, but since her captor left in a ship, we have no idea where to look for her. I just wanted to tell you myself. I'm very sorry, Jack."

"Thanks, Hank, I appreciate it."

"I'll let you know the minute we have a lead on her location," Landry promised, and then he ended the call.

For a long time Jack just sat there staring into space. Then he turned off his computer, locked his desk and grabbed his coat and hat. He didn't even remember driving home, and before he knew it he was in his living room, staring at the floor in front of the fireplace. It was the place where he'd made love to Sam on more than one occasion, and in a way it was more special to him than even their bed.

In three big strides he was down there on his knees, tears streaming down his face as he railed at the unfairness of a God who would take Sam away from her little girl…away from HIM. Even though he hadn't believed Sam would ever forgive him for what he'd done, it had been comforting to know she was well and alive and living in Colorado with their child…their daughter, a fact which Daniel had informed him the day she was born.

Now there was a good chance he'd never see Sam again, and the pain Jack felt was overwhelming. He needed something to deaden the terrible feelings of loss, guilt and remorse he was feeling, so he got out a bottle of Irish whiskey and poured himself a glassful. That night it was the first of many.

When Daniel couldn't get Jack to return his phone calls, he went to General Landry.

"I've tried calling him, but he doesn't answer. I've left messages, but he hasn't called me back. Arrangements need to be made for the care of Sam's daughter, and Jack won't even talk to me," he said excitedly.

"Simmer down, Doctor Jackson. I have a letter for you from Sam's lawyer."

"Her lawyer?"

"Yes. I know who it's from because he sent me a letter too. I have a feeling it will answer your questions." Hank handed the envelope to Daniel, who looked at it as though it might bite him. "Go ahead. You can open it here if you want to," Hank offered. Hank was curious to know what was in it. The letter he had received had been written by Sam. In it she had thanked him for trusting her enough to let her lead SG-1 again. So obviously she had written it very recently. There were a few other things in it too, mostly her commendations of the people she worked with in her lab. But it was the letter from the lawyer that interested Hank the most.

Daniel sat down, opened the envelope with shaking hands and read the letter to himself.

Cosgrove & Jenkins Law Firm

4000 Mississippi Street, suite 600

Denver, Colorado 80105

Dear Mr. Jackson,

According to Samantha Carter O'Neill's wishes, which are to be followed in case of her death, disappearance, or inability to function as a parent, you are to care for her daughter, Elizabeth Grace O'Neill, until such time as she returns or is once again able to care for her.

Arrangements have been made at First Trust Bank, giving you access to an account which has been set up for the specific purpose of caring for the child. Please refer to page 2 regarding this matter.

If she is declared dead, Samantha wishes you to notify the child's father, Jonathan J. O'Neill. He will then have sole custody of the child. Should he wish to forfeit his parental rights, Samantha hopes you will petition the court to appoint you as the child's legal guardian until she reaches the age of eighteen. Samantha trusts you implicitly and feels that you would make a good father.

I have already drawn up the necessary papers, should Mr. O'Neill wish to relinquish his parental rights. Please contact me as soon as possible if Samantha's situation changes.

Also, since Samantha and Jonathan were never divorced, she had me draft a codicil to her will. In it she leaves all her assets, including her house and car, to Elizabeth Grace O'Neill. Although I urged her months ago to divorce Mr. O'Neill, she refused. She insisted that he would not contest her request to leave the child everything. I can only hope she was correct, as I have yet to discuss this matter with Mr. O'Neill.

You may phone or stop by my office with any questions you have regarding this matter.

Cordially yours,

Brandon Cosgrove, Attorney at Law

303-343-8000

By the time Daniel finished reading the letter, he felt like crying. Sam was really gone! And though he wasn't surprised to hear that she wanted him to watch Beth for now, he was astounded that she wanted him to raise the child if Jack refused!

Of course he would do it. He'd do anything for Sam. He just hoped he wouldn't have to. Jack was her father; he should raise her! The man had acted foolishly and hastily in the past, but surely he wouldn't fail his own child!

"Doctor Jackson, are you alright?" Hank thought the man looked strange, like he'd just bit into something bad tasting.

"Eh…not really. It's about Beth. Sam wants me to take care of her until….well, until she is found or is declared dead."

"That's good news, isn't it?"

"I guess, but there's more. If she's declared dead, and Jack refuses to take care of Beth, Sam wants me to raise her."

"I see. That's quite a request. I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson; I'm sure this is hard on you. You've known them both for a lot longer than I have."

"Yes, that's true. I've known Jack for over ten years, but I still don't understand him," Daniel responded bitterly. "I don't see how he can turn his back on his own child!"

"Well maybe he won't. Sometimes the death of someone we love puts a whole new perspective on what's important in life."

Daniel just nodded solemnly. Then he got up and walked out of Landry's office. He suddenly felt like going to see Beth, so that's what he did.

Three weeks later as Daniel was driving home to Sam's house, where he'd been living with Beth and Anna, he made an important decision. He wasn't going to wait for General Landry to declare Sam dead. He was going to confront Jack now! The child deserved an answer from her father, and she deserved it now!

Daniel decided one way to get through Jack's hard-headedness was a surprise attack, and that was just what he intended to do! So he made flight reservations for himself and Beth, and then he packed a bag for himself and one for her. Then he put everything else he thought the baby might need into the diaper bag, before bundling Beth up in warm clothing.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along?" Anna asked. Daniel thought Beth was very pretty, and it was obvious she loved Beth as though the baby was hers. Anna's big brown eyes got really wide when she was frightened or anxious about something, and they were like that now.

"I'm sure. We'll be fine," he assured her, as he picked up the child. He had already taken their luggage to his car. Now he just had to put Beth in her car seat, and then they could leave for the airport.

"Do you think her father will want her?" she asked, as she touched the baby's round cheek. Beth turned in his arms and gurgled at Anna, as she patted her little hands on Daniel's chest.

"I don't know. I hope so," he said honestly, and then he smiled. "Try not to worry, Anna. I'll phone you as soon as I know anything," he promised as they stood in the doorway.

Anna leaned in and gave Beth a kiss on her plump rosy cheek. "Be a good girl, sweetheart. I'll miss you," she said tearfully.

With eight-month-old Beth in his arms, Daniel leaned down and gave Anna a kiss. She responded, kissing him back.

"Thank you for everything," Daniel said sincerely, and then he hurried out to his car.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

He'd had a few beers since getting home from work, and now he was half asleep on the sofa. So when the door bell rang he was very startled.

"Wonder who the hell that is," Jack grumbled as he pushed himself to his feet. Not bothering to put on a robe or shoes, Jack answered the door just the way he was dressed, in a pair of blue pajama bottoms.

When he yanked open the door, Daniel charged inside, not wanting to give Jack a chance to shut the door in his face.

"What the fuck?!" Jack shouted, as Daniel turned and shoved a sleeping baby into Jack's unsuspecting arms.

"Here! You are her next of kin. You will have to look after her now. I have plans, and a dig in Brazil is no place for a baby." He was thinking about taking the job he'd been offered, but he hadn't made up his mind yet. Mostly he just wanted to wake Jack up to his responsibility to the child.

"I can't look after her; I've got a job!" Jack complained loudly. Just then Beth opened her big blue eyes and stared up at him.

"Da-da!" she said, and Daniel wanted to shout for joy! She couldn't have picked a better time to practice her new word, and from the look on Jack's face, it was having a strong effect on the man.

"Da-da," Beth said again, her little hands reaching up toward Jack's face. She had called Daniel by the same name earlier that week, but he wasn't about to tell Jack. Let him think she knew who Jack was. Let Jack feel guilty for all the months he had ignored her. It served him right!

"I'll get her bags from the porch," he said quietly, and then he slipped out the front door.

Jack didn't notice Daniel leave. All he could see was Sam's face, as he looked down at the beautiful baby girl in his arms. This was his daughter! His and Sam's! And she was perfect in every way, just like her mother had been.

Without thinking about anything but how amazing she was, he carried Beth into the living room, where he sat down with her on his lap. He hadn't held a baby in many years, but he quickly discovered that how to hold one, even one who was wiggling to get down, was something a person didn't forget.

And now Jack had a mission. Daniel had dressed her as though there was a blizzard outside, a fact which Jack found endearing. The man might be a geek, and he might have been very annoying at times, but he was a good person. He had obviously taken excellent care of Beth, and he had been there for Sam when she needed a friend, and for that Jack would always be grateful. But it was warm in here, and she didn't need all these clothes, so Jack unwrapped the pink blanket from around her, and then he began removing her matching knitted hat and one-piece snow suit, which was also pink.

Jack had to smile. He thought she looked like a big ball of cotton candy, except that this candy had come to life and was trying to get away! She was a wiggler, but Jack managed to get her out of the snowsuit without too much damage to her ego. And as he worked to remove the too-warm clothing, he marveled at the strength in the tiny hands, and in the chubby arms and legs. Beth was definitely a fighter…just like her Mom. Jack quickly tucked that thought away for when he was alone. He didn't want anything to mar this event, his first meeting with his daughter. And he knew he had Daniel to thank for it. He owed Daniel a great deal. If only he could tell him.

By the time Daniel came and sat down across from Jack, Beth was standing in front of her father, her small hands slapping the coffee table as though it was a drum. "Da-da! Da-da!" she cried, and then she squealed with delight. Both men smiled at her, and she grinned back, drool running down her chin as she showed off her newest tooth.

She had cut her first tooth at six months of age, and then two more within a month, and now another one was coming in. Daniel had been told that it wasn't unusual for babies to be born with teeth, but he still thought Beth was very advanced in every way.

"She began standing in her crib a couple of weeks ago. Of course she still has to hold onto stuff, but Anna…that's her nanny….says she thinks Beth will be walking on her own in a month, well before she's a year old. She's very smart too. In many ways she's just like Sam was," Daniel said, and then he looked down at the floor.

Suddenly Beth let go and fell backward, but Jack caught her. However, it was clear to him that she didn't want to be held, so he sat her down on the floor. In an instant she was on her hands and knees, crawling toward the floor lamp! Jack got up and swooped her up in his arms. "Whoa!" he cried, and Beth screeched in protest, so Jack put her down on the other side of the coffee table, where she found his empty beer bottle. She picked it up and put the small end into her mouth. "Hey, gimme that!" Jack took the bottle away from her and was startled by a glass-shattering scream of protest.

"Hey, don't yell at me. I'm just trying to be a good Dad," Jack complained, but he was still smiling. She was a little spit-fire, and he felt very proud of her. No one was ever going to take advantage of his girl, no sirree!

"I'll get her bottle," Daniel said. He hurried to the foyer, where he had left their bags. He was back in a jiffy and handed Beth a small bottle of juice. She held it with both hands and sucked on it, while he laid her down on her back on the rug. Jack tucked the blanket around her, as Daniel launched another attack. "She's a very good baby, Jack," Daniel said, hoping Jack had seen the light. But he thought a little more prodding might be necessary.

"You can get a nanny to help you take care of her when you're at work. In fact, Anna might be willing to move here. I can ask her," he said, taking one last shot. If this didn't work, he wasn't sure what he would do next.

Jack chewed his bottom lip as he looked down at Beth. She was wonderful, a true miracle, especially for a man his age. Having her around would be like having a new lease on life. It would also be like having a part of Sam back, but could he bear it? He was certain there would be times when looking at Beth would hurt terribly, but the thought of never seeing the child again, of losing her too, was more than he could stand.

Suddenly he knew what he wanted to do. "Maybe there's a better way." Jack was tired of flying a desk anyway, so he decided right then and there that he was going to quit the Air Force. Screw his obligation to Hammond! His daughter was going to come first in his life from now on!

"Would you take Beth back to Colorado Springs and take care of her for a couple more weeks? There's some business I need to take care of here."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to retire, Daniel…for the last time. And then I'm going to raise my daughter," he stated, and then he reached out and patted Beth on the tummy. And as though she understood what Jack had said, she took hold of one of his fingers with one hand, the bottle resting on her chest, the nipple hanging from her mouth as she spoke to him in her baby gibberish. "Goo goo, Da-da!"

"Yah, kid, I know; it's about time I acted like a father," Jack said, smiling wistfully at his daughter.

Less than a month later Jack was back in Colorado Springs. It might have been a happier homecoming, if it had not been for the fact that Sam had been declared dead that week, and now he was faced with having to plan a memorial ceremony and a funeral.

As usual, Daniel was there to help.

"You can have a small service at the gravesite…just family. Everyone else can be invited to the ceremony at the SGC," he suggested as he sat across from Jack at the breakfast table. Daniel was going to move back to his condo later that day, but right now he was trying to help Jack get over this hump. "I'd be happy to phone everyone, if you want me to."

"No, I'll do it. She was my wife, Daniel."

Daniel thought Jack sounded a bit angry, but he figured that was just Jack being Jack. "Alright. Do you want me to order flowers?

"Yah, but make 'em yellow roses from me and Beth. Sam loved yellow roses."

"Okay. Jack, I want to say something at the memorial ceremony, but I don't want to freak you out," he said as he unfolded a piece of paper and laid it on the table. He had written down what he wanted to say. He just hoped Jack would approve.

Jack read what Daniel had written, and then he stood up. "It's good, Daniel," was all he said, and then he went outside.

Daniel's words were good and true, but they also reminded Jack of the things he'd never said to Sam, the things he alone felt for her, but couldn't say. And as he looked up at the blue sky, a single tear escaped his left eye and rolled down his stubbly cheek.

Later that week everyone got to hear the eulogy Daniel had composed.

"What can I say about Colonel Samantha Carter O'Neill that most of you don't already know? Those of you who served with her know what a dedicated, brave person she was. So I want to say something about her on a more personal level. When I first met Sam we clicked immediately. We were both geeks, a title that was bestowed upon us by someone who shall remain nameless. But he knows who he is," Daniel said, smiling as he glanced at Jack.

"She was my best friend, the big sister I never had, always ready to help me and advise me. Her love for life, and her ability to always look on the bright side, helped me through the loss of my wife. She was there to comfort me when I needed it, but she also encouraged me to move on, and I will never forget her for that."

"As for Sam the scientist, she was a genius! She saved all our lives many times over, always coming up with some crazy idea that somehow worked out in the end. She risked her own life many times to save us and to save people she didn't even know, and saying she was dedicated to duty doesn't begin to express the sort of soldier she was. Sam was truly beautiful, on the inside as well as on the outside."

"Sam leaves behind a very special daughter, Beth, her brother Mark Carter, and her husband Jack O'Neill. We, her friends and colleagues, will never forget Sam for the contributions she made to the SGC and to the world. I will always miss her. Rest in peace, Sam."

Daniel had just finished, when something happened that surprised everyone present, including Jack. If anyone had asked Jack why he felt so compelled to speak that day, he wouldn't have been able to explain, but suddenly he was walking up to the podium.

"Hey, everybody. I'm not on the program. I don't even know if Sam would approve of me being here, but… Well, you know me; I never did do things by the book. Sam and I were having some problems, but I couldn't let all of you think that I didn't love her."

Daniel, who was standing close by, quickly stepped up to Jack and whispered to him. "You don't have to do this, Jack."

"No, Daniel, I want to. Sam was… Sam was everything to me. I loved her for many years, even before we got married. I never really told her how much it meant to me, all those years, having her by my side. She was more than any man deserves. She kept me going, even when I didn't see the point in it. She kept me sane, or at least as close to sane as I can be," he said, smiling at his self-effacing remark. "Hell, I never would have made general if it wasn't for her. And I certainly would not have had a beautiful daughter, if it wasn't for her. Why Sam loved me is something I will never understand. But she did. And I loved her. I LOVE her. I always will. I just wanted you to know that."

Except for the sounds of several people crying, there was silence in the room when Jack finished. No one had ever heard Jack O'Neill talk about his feelings before, and everyone was very moved that he'd chosen to do so now.

Afterward, Daniel and Teal'c rode together in Daniel's car to the cemetery, where Mark Carter and his wife and three children were waiting. Jack, who was driving Sam's car these days, went to the house and picked up Beth and Anna. They arrived at the cemetery just a few minutes later.

A few days earlier Jack had tried to explain to Mark Carter why his sister wasn't being buried in a Catholic cemetery. Sam had been born and raised a Catholic, but as the years passed her beliefs had changed to encompass a wider, less stringent set of spiritual values. Therefore, he had chosen a non-denominational minister to conduct the short ceremony. And due to the fact that there were no remains, an empty urn was to be placed in a vault in the mausoleum. Now, as Jack prepared to say good-bye to his wife, he hoped that Mark would keep quiet about what he saw as a serious error on Jack's part. Jack got his wish until the ceremony was over and the little group was dispersing.

"Just because I let you get away with this doesn't mean I'm going to forget about what you've done to my sister."

"Mark, please, not here," Mark's wife begged, as she hurried to keep up with him. She was carrying one child and practically dragging the other two along behind her, but Mark didn't slow down.

Jack, who was carrying a sleeping Beth, just kept walking, trying to ignore the man. He didn't want to react badly in front of the baby, but if the man pushed him any harder, he wasn't sure what he'd do. When he reached the car, he gave Beth to Anna and told her to put her in her car seat.

Then he went to the other side of the car, to the driver's door. That was when Mark went too far, grabbing Jack's arm as he yelled at him. "Hey, I'm talking to you, O'Neill! I warned Sam about marrying outside the Church. You didn't even have the decency to baptize your daughter," he said accusingly. "What if something happens to her?" he asked, and Jack reacted by pulling away and then taking a swing at Mark.

Jack's fist came into contact with Mark's nose, which started to bleed. "Ow! You broke my nose!" Marked whined as he put one hand up, trying to stop the bleeding. Meanwhile, Daniel, Teal'c and Mrs. Carter and the kids watched.

"Don't ever question my love for Beth or Sam again, and don't give me any of that holier than thou crap either! Baptized or not, my child is just as pure and innocent as yours! Now stay away from me, or I'll do more than just break your nose," Jack threatened, and then he got into the car. And after making sure that Anna and Beth were ready to go, he started the engine and drove away.

"That man should be put in jail," Mark's wife accused, as she handed Mark a tissue.

"You don't know him like I do. He's a hero, and so was your sister. I suggest you go home and ask yourself why a person as good as Sam didn't want anything to do with you," Daniel said, as he looked directly at Mark. Then he walked away, leaving the couple standing there with shocked looks on their faces.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

A year had passed since he'd moved back to Colorado, and Jack had settled into Sam's little house, where he cared for his daughter on his own. He worshipped her, and she was obviously just as attached to him. Everyone noticed how close the two were. They were inseparable, and Jack was happy…or at least as happy as he could be without Sam, and without any adult, female companionship.

Once a week they would go to the grocery store, where Beth would sit in the cart and babble in her own language, while pointing at the brightly colored boxes, vegetables and other things she saw. Her blue eyes would grow big and round when she spotted something that really interested her, and often Jack would stop and show her whatever it was. One day they were examining a large yellow squash, when someone bumped his arm.

"Oh, sorry!" the woman said, smiling at him. She had full lips and wide-set, green eyes which Jack found quite captivating.

"No, it was my fault. I was hogging the space," he said as he pushed his grocery cart to one side of the vegetable counter. Beth was holding the squash in her lap now, patting it as though it was some sort of pet. "My skush," she commented, as she wrapped her arms around the large vegetable.

Oh, oh. Jack knew there'd be hell to pay now if he tried to take it away from her. She had her mother's stubbornness, the strength of a Pit Bull, and the lungs of an opera singer! She had practically caused a riot the last time he'd tried to change her mind. That time their disagreement had been about a bag of Tasty O's, which he had tried to pry from her hands. Plastic bags did not hold up as well as cardboard boxes. Jack could still see the angry look on the store clerk's face, when he arrived to clean up the mess on aisle three.

"Yah, well…I think it might be good…if I knew how to fix it," he commented. Jack had become a fairly accomplished cook over the years, but squash was one thing he knew very little about, probably because he had never liked it much. But he didn't want to admit in front of his very impressionable daughter that he didn't like any vegetable, so now he had a problem.

"Tell your wife to phone me. I'd be happy to give her a really great recipe for squash," the woman next to him said, as he offered him a business card. Jack took it and figured he should explain, and maybe he should use this opportunity to make a new friend for himself. After all, the woman was a beauty, tall with dark blonde hair and a really nice smile.

He wasn't getting any younger. He'd been having a little problem with his prostate, but that was under control now. But he knew if he didn't use his equipment, he could lose the ability to perform as a man, and that was something he didn't even want to contemplate! So he said something to her that he'd never said to anyone before.

"I'm not married. I mean I was, but…she's dead." It was the first time he'd actually said the words out loud, and having said them he felt relieved. Maybe it meant he really could get on with his life? He wanted to, if only for Beth's sake. So he put the card into the breast pocket of his shirt, thinking he'd give her a call later.

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Thanks. It's been hard," he said, and then his libido just had to say something raunchy. 'Yes, it has been HARD, and she's just the sort of person who could help you with THAT problem, Jack.' He could feel himself blushing now, so he concentrated on getting a plastic bag for the squash, while the woman selected two for herself. He figured she was going to leave now, before the loser next to her said anything else stupid. But then he heard her speak again.

"Is this your daughter?" she asked, as she looked at Beth. Beth was looking back at the woman now, her eyes squinted like she was trying to decide if she liked this stranger or not.

"Yes. Her name is Beth, and I'm Jack…Jack O'Neill."

"Hi, Beth," she said as she dipped her head and looked at Beth with smiling eyes. Then she held out her hand to Jack and he took it. "I'm Kate Ryan. I have a little girl too. Her name is Jessica, but everyone calls her Jessie. She's six, or she will be on Friday. How old are you, honey?" she asked, dipping her head toward Beth again.

Jack expected Beth to answer. She knew how old she was. Hell, she could count to ten! But instead of answering, she just stared back at Kate and didn't say a word.

"Cat must have her tongue," he joked. "She's almost two. Her birthday's next month. And she's not usually so shy," he added, wondering why his outspoken, gregarious little girl and suddenly shut up like a clam.

"It's okay. I sometimes get shy around strangers too," she said, giving Beth an understanding look, and then she glanced at her watch. "Oh, I have to hurry! I have a meeting in an hour."

"It was nice meeting you," Jack said politely. He didn't often do polite, but he was learning…for Beth's sake.

"It was nice meeting you too. Listen, I'm having a dinner party tonight, and I hate to fly solo, would you be interested in being my date?"

"I would be, but wouldn't your husband get upset?"

"I'm divorced. My address is on the card. Dinner is at nine, but come earlier so you can meet my friends. We're a harmless bunch, I assure you." Jack knew from her card that she was a financial advisor, so he figured her friends were in the same line of work. He wasn't sure an old military man like him would fit it, but he felt flattered that she wanted him to be her date.

"I don't know. I'd need to find someone to watch Beth." He had never hired a baby sitter. He wasn't even sure he would feel comfortable doing so. Sure, Daniel and Teal'c had taken care of Beth a time or two, but they were like family.

"Well, if you can make it, that would be nice. If not, you can still call me for that squash recipe," she said, smiling, and then she hurried off.

"Well, that was interesting," Jack said aloud. Beth still didn't say anything, and she was quiet for the rest of the shopping trip. And by the time Jack got home and had put all his purchases away, he was feeling even less certain that he should go to Kate's for dinner. And it wasn't just that he would need a sitter for Beth. It was that even thinking about seeing another woman made him feel disloyal.

The phone rang only once before Daniel answered.

"Hello, Jack. If you're calling about that poker game, I told you I don't know how to play." For months Jack had been trying to get him to participate in the Friday night ritual. But Daniel didn't know how to play, and he didn't care to learn. Playing cards with a bunch of men, whose idea of having fun was getting drunk and telling lewd jokes, was not his idea of a good time.

"No, it's not about that, Daniel. In fact we aren't getting together tonight. Ted had a cold or sinus infection or something, and Bill's kid is graduating from college," Jack replied, thinking how odd it still seemed that his friends all had grown kids, while his was daughter still in diapers. "Actually, I don't know why I called you." He still wasn't sure about the dinner party. Should he go and take the chance of feeling awkward all night? Or should he do what he usually did, which was stay home and watch TV?

"Jack, what's going on?" Daniel could always tell when Jack had something on his mind.

"I have a date…sort of."

"How can you sort of have a date?"

"Because I didn't really say I'd go."

"Okay…let's begin again. Tell me what you're talking about."

Jack told him everything, including how hot the woman was, but then he felt ashamed. "At least I think she was hot. I didn't really pay that much attention to her, to tell you the truth."

"Yeah, and I'm not an archaeologist with a knack for languages. Okay, Jack, what's really going on with you?"

"The truth is, a part of me wants to go. But then there's this other part of me who thinks I'd feel out of place. And…." Jack couldn't go on. He already felt like he'd said too much. This opening up to people was new to him, and he didn't like the vulnerable feeling it gave him.

"And you feel guilty about wanting to get to know her better, right?" He knew Jack would face this problem one day. The man was simply too virile, too Alpha male to be alone for very long. He could still recall the pretty redhead Jack had bedded, when he found out Sam was engaged. And she hadn't been the only woman to fill Jack's bed over the years, although some of them had been out of this world, quite literally.

"Yah, I guess."

"You have every right to have someone to share your life with, Jack. We all do."

Jack let out a sigh of relief. He had been worried about what Daniel might think. After all, Sam had been like a sister to him. "I gotta admit I don't feel right about it, but I figure I need to live a normal life if I want Beth to be happy."

"You need a normal life for YOU to be happy, Jack. So don't worry about seeing this woman. I would be glad to baby sit, if I didn't have plans."

"With anyone I know?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, you do. Remember Beth's nanny, Anna?" He had gotten to know her quite well while they were taking care of Beth, but they hadn't actually had sex until after she'd moved out of Sam's house. In fact, they hadn't seen each other for months, and then one day she'd phoned him and invited him to have lunch with her in town.

"Daniel, you dog, you! So, she wasn't just taking care of Beth when you two lived here together, eh?"

"No, it wasn't like that, Jack. We were just friends. We didn't start dating until six months ago." And now she was sleeping over at his place almost every Friday night. Her current job, as a nanny for another family, meant she still didn't have her own place, but their current arrangement was working out well. Tonight they were going into Denver to hear the Denver Symphony play Rachmaninoff. It was his idea, a sort of celebration to mark their six-month anniversary. But he didn't want Jack poking fun at his sappy sentimental side, so he didn't tell Jack why tonight was so important.

"Well you guys go and have fun. I probably should stay home anyway. Beth has a runny nose."

"Don't use that as an excuse, Jack. Why don't you try Teal'c? I bet he'd love to baby sit."

"I thought he was off someplace with the Jaffa rebels?"

"He was, but he's back. He brought Ishta with him. Remember her?"

"Tall blonde with an attitude? Yah, I remember her. I really thought they'd be over by now. She's way too serious for him."

Daniel had to laugh. "I know she is, but Teal'c likes her." He thought it made sense that Jack would think Ishta was too serious. After all, she didn't come on to him like most other women did. In fact, she seemed to dislike Jack. He would have to ask Teal'c about it one day, but right now he had other things on his mind…like cleaning out his car, so it wouldn't smell like stale coffee and whatever else was lurking in there. He couldn't have Anna thinking he was a slob!

"Anyway, why don't you call him? Maybe they'd enjoy getting out of the SGC for a while?"

"Alright, maybe I will. Thanks for the suggestion. And have fun!"

"You too, Jack."

Jack hung up the phone. And though he thought about dialing the number to the SGC, he changed his mind. So what if he didn't date? So what if there was never a woman in his life or in Beth's? He could do a good job of raising Beth on his own, couldn't he? Jacob Carter had done as much…well almost. Sam had been older than Beth when she'd lost her mother, but Jacob had been a major influence on Sam, and she'd turned out alright. In fact, she'd turned out better than alright.

Jack went to the refrigerator and took out stuff to make a sandwich. And once it was ready, he checked on Beth. She was still asleep, so he took the baby monitor, the sandwich and a bottle of beer and went outside to the deck. And there he ate his lunch in the sun, while trying to decide just how important going to the dinner party was to him.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

She wasn't sure how long she'd lived on Yu's ship, but she figured it had to be almost a year. At first she figured he would put a Goa'uld symbiote inside her, and then it wouldn't matter how long she'd been there. But as time went by and he didn't implant her with a symbiote, she decided to try and keep track of the days, weeks and months. The wall of her room on the ship probably still bore her marks, the record she'd kept, using charcoal from one of the burners that were used to keep her food warm.

And now she lived in his palace like a consort or a queen. The fact that she was treated with respect, that she was bathed and groomed as though she was royalty, had surprised her from the start. And the food she was given was as good or better than any she'd ever eaten, even on Earth. Yu was a gracious host, and he was very particular about his meals, often having elaborate ones of five and six courses.

She could still recall the first time she was invited to dine with him. She thought it would be her last meal as Sam Carter, or Sam O'Neill. She had used Jack's surname early in their marriage, but later on she had gone back to using her maiden name, even though they had never divorced. Sam tried not to think about how Jack had hurt her. All she would allow herself to do was remember how it had been between them all those years when Jack had been her CO, and during the first few months of their marriage. She knew things hadn't been perfect even then, but to her those memories were priceless.

Anyway, at first she thought Yu intended to use her as a host. After all, it was a known fact that he was the oldest of the system lords. Even his host was old by Goa'uld standards. But all he seemed to want from her was conversation. At the beginning of a meal he would ask her a philosophical question. For instance, one day he asked, "What is the most important treasure a man can possess?" And on another occasion he had asked, "What character traits are most important in a man?" Sam had answered each of his queries, expressing her views honestly, and each time Yu would listen respectfully, and then he would consider her answer for a few silent minutes, before asking something else.

She found that many times he would simply nod and smile once she was finished talking. And then they would eat the rest of their meal in silence. And gradually she felt less and less threatened by him, so that one day she asked him to set her free.

"No, you may not go."

"Why not? Why won't you let me go?" she had asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Because, from the first moment I saw your beauty and heard the wisdom from your lips, I knew who you are, and I knew I must worship you."

"Who I am? I don't understand."

"You are the reincarnation of Quan Yin."

"Who is Quan Yin?" she asked, opening her big eyes wide. She knew Yu was senile, but was he crazy too?

"I will explain, if it pleases you."

"Yes, please explain!"

"You are a great deity! You are the model of Chinese beauty and wisdom. Your presence brings people comfort at times when they need it the most. I need you now, for I am at the end of my days."

Later Sam questioned Oshu, Lord Yu's First Prime, about Quan Yin. His answer had given her hope. "She is the deity we pray to for comfort when we are sick or troubled about something, or lost in our minds. I believe you call this senility. My master suffers thus. He is losing his ability to remember things, and soon he will no longer be able to rule."

For a long time her memories of Beth and Jack had been all that had kept Sam going, and she couldn't imagine not retaining them. But now she had something else to keep her going…hope, hope of gaining her freedom! Oshu, had confided in her that his master's senility meant that he didn't have long to live.

"Either his rivals will take his throne away from him by force, or he will die and his slaves and soldiers will seek out another Goa'uld to follow. His body is also quite old. The sarcophagus is no longer able to rejuvenate it, as it once did. He was older than most hosts from the start, and now he is the oldest by far," Oshu explained.

When Sam asked why Yu hadn't taken another host, a younger one, Oshu told Sam that he had suggested it, but Yu had simply said that he preferred to let his life end as it was meant to end. "After all," Oshu said, "he will live again, as will I."

Oshu had then explained that Buddhists believe that it is only the body which dies. "The spirit lives on and will find another body to inhabit." Apparently Yu's symbiote shared the human host's belief in an afterlife, and so it felt no need to take a new host.

Sam was surprised by this news, although she had to admit that Lord Yu had always been the least Goa'uld-like of any of the system lords that she had met. So now it looked like she would have a chance to escape. But in order to make certain that her chance was a good one, she asked Oshu to help her.

Beth awakened from her nap that afternoon with a runny nose and a cough, making Jack's decision an easy one. There was no way he was leaving Beth with a sitter when she was sick. So he gave her plenty of liquids, and he checked her temperature every two hours. And since she didn't feel like playing, he tried to keep her occupied and happy by reading to her. After an hour she became bored, so he decided a change of scene would be a good idea, and they moved into the kitchen.

Jack decided to have an early dinner, so he would be ready to watch the hockey game later. He chose chicken noodle soup because he knew how much she liked it. He had a ham sandwich with the soup, and he gave Beth about a quarter cup of the soup, along with some tapioca pudding and apple juice.

When they were finished eating, he removed their dishes, wiped Beth's hands and face and left her in her high chair, where he could keep an eye on her. While he washed the dishes, she played with some plastic measuring cups and a few Fruit Loops. She loved dropping the pieces of cereal one at a time into the cups and then dumping them out. By the time Jack was finished cleaning up the kitchen and the table, she had become bored with her game of 'drop the loop into the cup', and now she was dropping the little colored circles onto the floor.

"Oh, oh!" she cried as she looked down over the side of the high chair tray. Just then Jack heard someone open the front door. As usual he hadn't locked it, and as usual he wondered what Sam would say if she knew.

"Oh, oh, indeed!" said a deep male voice. Beth squealed with delight when she saw the big man walk into the room.

"T! What are you doing here?" Jack looked toward the front door, expecting to see Ishta, but she wasn't there.

"I have come to baby sit."

Jack wasn't really surprised that Daniel had taken it upon himself to tell Teal'c about his dilemma. Daniel often did that sort of thing, which was why Jack didn't usually tell Daniel stuff, especially personal stuff.

"Ah, I see. But where's Ishta? Daniel said she was at the SGC."

"She has returned to the Hak'tyl," Teal'c replied simply, as he watched Jack remove Beth's bib.

"Oh? Is everything okay between you two?" Jack asked as he extricated his daughter from her high chair. She held her arms out to Teal'c, so Teal'c took her and carried her into the living room. Eager to hear Teal'c's answer, Jack threw the dirty bib into the kitchen sink and followed them. "I guess Ishta wasn't interested in baby sitting," Jack said, fishing for an answer to his question. He thought Ishta was way too bossy and hard to please, and he often wondered why Teal'c put up with her.

"Actually the subject did not arise. She left before Daniel Jackson told me about your date," Teal'c explained as she sat Beth down in the play pen. He handed her a toy, and then he sat down on the sofa.

"It wasn't a date, Teal'c. I don't even know the woman," Jack said as he turned on the TV. "We can watch the game. How about a drink? I have ginger ale and root beer," he said as he handed Teal'c the remote.

"I will have a root beer. Do you have any of those corn chips and the dip?"

"Sure do! Coming right up!" Jack had discovered Teal'c's love for corn chips with Chile cheese dip, so he made sure to keep some on hand for when Teal'c came to visit.

Once Teal'c was happily sipping root beer and munching on chips, Jack excused himself and took Beth into the hall bathroom across from the nursery. He usually let her play in the bathtub for a while, but tonight he made quick work of her bath, and ten minutes later she was dried off, her bottom was powdered, and the rest of her was slathered in baby lotion. Then Jack dressed in her clean pajamas and put her in her crib.

He left the mobile turning, while he went to warm up a small bottle of milk. These days she usually drank from a cup, but she went down easier at night if he gave her a bottle. "Here ya go, sweetheart. Sweet dreams!" he said, and then he kissed her on the top of her curly blonde head. She smelled sweet, like shampoo and lotion, and he thought, as he had many times before, that nothing smelled better than Beth after her bath.

By the time Jack returned to the living room carrying a bottle of beer, the hockey game had already started. He moved the baby monitor from the coffee table to the table beside his chair, and then he settled down to watch the game.

"How're they doing?" Jack asked, referring to the Denver Avalanche.

"The score is two to nothing in favor of the Red Wings," Teal'c replied, and Jack made a face.

"So, not too good, huh?"

"It is early yet. The Avalanche may still prevail."

"How can you be such an optimist, T?"

"Because I believe it does no one any good to be otherwise."

"Ya, I guess. It's just hard to be optimistic, when life keeps kicking the crap outa you."

"Are we still talking about hockey?"

"No, I guess not."

"You are lucky in many ways, O'Neill. You have survived many battles, you have health and vitality, you have good friends, and you have a fine daughter."

"You're starting to sound more like Daniel every day."

"If that is so, then I am pleased. Daniel Jackson is a wise man for someone so young," Teal'c replied.

Jack didn't know if optimism was a sign of wisdom or not. All he knew was, he wished he could let go of the past like Daniel had obviously managed to do. Right now the man was on a date, for crying out loud! And later tonight Daniel was probably going to get laid, while he was here at home watching a hockey game with another guy.

This reminded Jack that he was curious about Daniel's relationship with Anna. Had he been keeping it a secret from everyone, or just from him?

"How serious do you think Daniel is about Anna?"

"I believe he is very serious."

"I knew it! He's been talking to you about her, hasn't he?"

"I think you should ask Daniel Jackson about this matter."

"Okay, but don't expect chips and dip from me the next time you're here," Jack warned.

"I believe that is called blackmail, O'Neill."

"Indeed it is!" Just then a loud cry erupted from the baby monitor. "Crap!" Jack got up and practically ran to Beth's room. When he got there she was standing up in bed. Her nose was running, and her loud cries were interspersed with hacking coughs. Jack wiped her nose with a tissue. Then he picked her up and spoke soothingly to her, but she wouldn't stop crying. So he checked to see if her diaper was wet. It was, so he changed it, making sure to wipe her off with a sterile wipe. He also checked her temperature. It was higher than before, but it was still within the safe range.

Once she was diapered and wrapped in a blanket, he brought her into the living room, where he sat her down on his lap.

"Is she unwell, O'Neill?"

"It's just a runny nose and a little cough. She'll be fine in a day or two, won't you, sunshine?"

"Puck!" Beth cried, pointing as she saw the black disc slide across the ice. It went into the net, the Red Wings scoring again.

Jack hated to see his team lose. In fact he hated it so much that he forgot about Beth's impressionable mind. "Shit!" he yelled.

"Shit," Beth said.

"Maybe we should watch something other than the game, O'Neill?"

So, since it appeared the Colorado team was going to lose anyway, they changed the channel. An hour later Beth had finally fallen asleep. So Jack put her back to bed, and then he saw Teal'c to the door.

"Sorry about the game, T. The kid soaks up stuff like a sponge." And he didn't want Beth soaking up his foul language when the Avalanche lost!

"I believe the game was…as you say…a lost cause anyway. And I enjoyed watching the movie."

"Yah, sure you did." They had ended up watching half of "The Littlest Mermaid", which was one of Beth's favorite movies. "You're a good friend, Teal'c. I'm lucky to have you," Jack said, acknowledging what Teal'c had said earlier.

"I feel the same about you. Good-night."

"Good-night, T. Drive safely!"

"I will endeavor to break no laws."

Jack shut the door and then went to check on his daughter. She was asleep on her back, breathing loudly. Obviously her nose was stuffed up, so he put some water in the vaporizer and turned it on. Then he went back to the living room and picked up the empty bottle and glass and the empty chip bag. And after making certain that both the back door and the front door were locked, he got the baby monitor and took it to his bedroom.

It wasn't that late, but he felt tired. Plus he had a gut feeling that he might have to get up with Beth during the night. So he got undressed, brushed his teeth and peed, and then he got into bed.

It wasn't long before he was dreaming about Sam, but the dream wasn't a pleasant one.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Lately she was starting to think of herself as a modern day Scheherazade Her conversations with Yu had gradually morphed into story telling sessions, with her the teller of tales. Each day she talked for hours about people and places on Earth, even about how the stargate was found and how long it took them to figure out what it was and how to use it. She talked about the great leaders they'd had, about the great wars and about the great scientists and their inventions. And everything she said seemed to hold Lord Yu's interest.

She thought today would be pretty much the same, since Yu rarely left the palace anymore. But she got a surprise. Oshu came to her room early in the day and announced that it was time for her to leave. Struck by his kindheartedness, Sam had pleaded with him on several occasions to help her escape. But lately she had given up hope that he would help her, so this was a wonderful surprise.

"Why today? What's happening?"

"I have heard talk among the Jaffa. Lord Yu no longer has their respect. The ones who wish to remain here are few. Some are planning to leave soon, while others talk of my master's demise."

"You mean they plan to murder him?"

"Yes, they may be forced to do so. Another system lord will arrive soon to take over Lord Yu's territory. It would not be wise for you to stay here until he comes. Lord Anubis may not appreciate your wisdom, and beauty is a fleeting thing."

"But how will I get away?" She had learned from Yu that the palace was located on a planet without a stargate. Sam figured he had told her this hoping that it would discourage her from trying to escape. And if the freedoms which had been given to her lately were any indication, he obviously felt his strategy was working. Now there wasn't even a guard outside her chamber door.

"I have a ship. I will take you to a planet with a stargate. Come, we must go now!"

Thankful that he was willing to help her, Sam simply hurried after the man. But later, when they were hurtling through space on the small ship, Sam asked him why he had decided to help her.

"It was my master's wish that you be set free."

"He told you to set me free?"

"Yes. He also said to tell you that it has been an honor knowing you. Lord Yu enjoyed your company very much. You made his final days much happier. For this I thank you."

Sam was stunned! In their conversations Yu had made it clear that he knew who she really was. He had also explained that the god was just using her body in order to speak to him. But his behavior still shocked her. He was nothing like the other Goa'ulds she had known. In the past she had gained the attention of another system lord, a sadist named Ba'al, but he had never shown her any respect or decency.

Now that she was going home, Sam started thinking about what would happen when she got back to Earth. It had been over a year since she'd seen Beth. Would she even know her own mother? And who was caring for her? Had Jack given up custody? Was Daniel raising her?

A part of her couldn't wait to get home and find out, but another part was very worried about what she would find when she got there. Suddenly she was feeling happy, fearful and anxious all at the same time, and she began to cry.

"Why do you cry?"

"Because I'm happy. But I'm very worried too. I wonder what has happened to my daughter while I've been gone." Oshu nodded sympathetically. "Oshu, what will you do now?"

"I will join Lord Yu in the afterlife."

"You intend to commit suicide?!"

"I intend to defend my master to the end. If I am not slain in the process, I will do whatever is necessary to remain at his side for all eternity."

"You are a good First Prime, Oshu. I think Lord Yu is lucky to have you." The man merely bowed his head toward her, and then he directed his attention to flying the little ship.

Jack had been right. During the night he had gotten up several times with Beth. The last time he sat holding her in the rocking chair in her room. And as he rocked, he sang an old Irish song his mother had sung to him as a boy. It was called "An Irish Lullaby".

By the time the sun came up, Beth had settled into a deep sleep, and she was no longer breathing noisily. So Jack carefully laid her down in the crib, and then he went to take a shower and get dressed.

He was drinking his first cup of coffee and staring out the back window into the flower garden, when the telephone rang. Daniel's voice was so loud that he could barely understand a word the man said.

"Daniel, calm down!"

"Jack! Jack, you won't believe this! I can hardly believe it, and I've seen her. Jack, it's Sam! She's alive!"

"I'll be right there," Jack said, and then he slammed down the phone. He was running to the bedroom to get his keys, when he remembered Beth. She was probably still asleep, and she hadn't had her breakfast yet. In fact, neither had he. But he wanted to see Sam so badly that he decided breakfast could wait. So, as carefully as he could, he changed Beth's diaper, and then he started dressing her in one of the new summer outfits he'd bought her. The sundress had big red and green strawberries on a white back ground. And there was a little slouch hat to match, with elastic that went under her chin to keep it on her head.

But no matter how careful he was, she woke up and looked at him, frowning miserably as if to say, "Daddy, how could you disturb my sleep?!"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but something important has happened. Your Mommy is alive!" he exclaimed as he jammed her feet into the white tights. Then he worked them up to her waist, straightened her dress and picked her up. "There! Now you're all set to see your Mommy. I'm glad you nose isn't all yucky like it was yesterday." He was very glad she was better, and he figured the problem had been the tooth that was coming in.

"Mama?" she asked. Jack had often shown her photos of Sam, but now he was worried. A photo was one thing, but a live person was quite another. Would Beth recognize Sam?

"Yes, your Mama is back, and we're going to see her right now," Jack told her excitedly. He felt like a kid going to a school dance for the first time, but obviously little Beth was feeling something else.

"I want foops," Beth said.

"Later," Jack replied, and Beth's bottom lip curled in a pout and tears formed in her eyes. Jack felt like an asshole for denying her breakfast, but he had to get to Sam!

"I'll give you Fruit Loops in a the car. First let me do something with your hair. It looks worse than mine." Her hair was curly and had a mind of its own, a fact he could attest to after having tried to tame it many times. Usually he just put a clip with a bow attached to it and let it do what it wanted to do, but today he wanted it to look really nice. So he sat Beth on his lap and began brushing her hair. But it wasn't long before he could tell that his efforts were not appreciated by the child. Nor was he making any progress. So he decided to put the hat on her head and hope she wouldn't pull it off.

"Don't touch the hat, kid, or your hair will erupt like Mount Vesuvius," he said, and then he took her new shoes out of the box. She hated wearing shoes, and putting them on her feet was always a major task. He figured it was his own fault; he often allowed her to walk around the house in her bare feet. So the white, patent leather Mary Janes he had bought to go with the dress didn't go over very well.

Beth took one look at them and went ballistic. "NO!"

"Come on, honey, they're just shoes." She squirmed, kicked and twisted on his lap. Trying to hold her still was like trying to hold onto a greased eel!

"No! No shoes!" she yelled, twisting until she was half way onto the bed, and he was hanging onto her by one leg.

"Yes, you have to wear shoes. We're going in the car." Jack dragged her back to his lap and managed to get one shoe on and buckled, but Beth still wanted no part of them.

"No! Want foops!" she yelled, kicking out with her newly-clad foot, which hit Jack in the chin.

"OW! Hey, no kicking your old man! You'll get foops just as soon as we're in the car. Now hold still!" Jack somehow managed to get the buckles fastened on both shoes, and she was finally all dressed. Now, however, the hat was askew on her head, but he'd fix that later.

Now he needed to change his own clothes. So he put Beth on his bed and handed her his cell phone. He knew she liked to play with it. He just hoped that she wouldn't manage to call England like she had the last time.

But soon he was dressed in a new pair of dark blue 501 Levis and a lighter blue, knitted shirt that buttoned up the front. Now he needed to get Beth settled in the car, and then they could be on their way. He had just finished putting Beth in her car seat and handing her a small box of Fruit Loops, when his cell phone rang. Jack pulled it out of his pocket, figuring it was Landry wanting to tell him about Sam.

"Hi! I hope I have the right Jack O'Neill? This is Kate. We met yesterday in the grocery store."

"Oh, yah. What d'ya want?" he asked gruffly. All he could think about was the fact that Sam was at the SGC.

"I'm sorry. I can tell that I'm bothering you. I shouldn't have called."

"No, it's alright. It's just that I'm in a hurry."

"Then I'll let you go. Maybe you'll call me when you have more time?"

"Yah, sure," he answered distractedly.

Jack clapped the phone shut, shoved it back into his pocket and got behind the wheel. Then he drove on remote, his mind on one thing only, seeing Sam. She had been missing for one year and twenty days exactly, but he hadn't seen her for almost two and a half years, not since she'd told him she was pregnant. What would she think when she saw him? He knew he looked older; he was heavier, and there was more gray in his hair too.

He also wondered about Sam. Did she look the same, or had time and her ordeal, changed her? And what about Beth? How would she react? Even though Sam was her mother, the person who had given birth to her and raised her for the first nine months of her life, would the child recognize her? His mind was reeling with questions as he drove to the base. And as he rode the elevator down into the mountain, holding Beth in his arms, he felt more anxious than he'd ever felt in his entire life.

General Landry had obviously been notified when he passed through security, because he was waiting for Jack at the elevator on level 22.

"Jack, I'm glad you could make it here so fast. Sam's been asking for her daughter," Hank said, patting Beth's plump little leg.

"Where is she?"

"Carolyn put her in one of the isolation rooms."

"Is there something wrong with her?" Jack asked. Usually the isolation rooms were used for people with contagious diseases, or people who were seriously injured or ill.

"Oh, no, she just wants to keep an eye on her for a while longer, someplace where Sam can be comfortable. Her tests are coming back negative, so it's just a precaution," he assured Jack. "Come with me. I'll take you to her."

Jack followed the CO of the SGC down the brightly lit hallway, past the dark blue doors, one of which was labeled Dr. Carolyn Lam in bold white letters. Just as Hank stopped walking, a door opened and Daniel came out, followed by Dr. Lam. The instant Daniel saw Jack and Beth, his face lit up in a huge smile.

"Jack! Jack, she's back and she's okay! Can you believe it!"

"How is she?" Jack asked, looking directly at the pretty, young doctor.

"She's very well. In fact, if I didn't know better, I would think she's been on a very relaxing vacation. There's no evidence of injury to her body. She's even put on a few pounds. And her mind seems fine too. She's quite eager to see her daughter," Carolyn added as she smiled affectionately at the child.

Jack didn't know what to think about the news. It was hard enough for him to get his head around the fact that Sam was alive, but that she had not suffered any injuries, either mental or physical, was almost too much to believe! She had lived with a Goa'uld for a year, for crying out loud, so how was this possible, unless… "You sure she's okay?" If Sam wasn't really alright, he wasn't sure he could take it. Finding out she was missing, and then thinking she was dead, had been like living his worst nightmares. He didn't think he could take anymore bad news where she was concerned.

"Yes, she's fine." Jack heard her answer, and it was like his heart started beating again.

"Jack? Jack are you feeling alright? You look a little pale," Hank remarked, and Carolyn stepped closer, ready to come to Jack's aide.

"Yah," was all Jack said, even though he was feeling a little dizzy. He figured it was all the thoughts whirling around in his head. He didn't usually think so much, but there were questions he needed to ask Sam. So, ignoring the concerned looks of Hank and his daughter, Jack opened the door to Sam's room.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Sam was nervously awaiting Jack and Beth's arrival, when the door opened and Jack came in, carrying Beth in his arms. She held a few Fruit Loops in one little fist, and she was trying to shove them into her mouth all at once. Sam thought she looked adorable, like a living doll. She watched as Jack helped Beth put the cereal into her mouth, and then he wiped her lips with his fingers, trying to remove the crumbs that had been left behind, while clucking at her like a mother hen. It was sweet, but it was also very upsetting.

Daniel had explained how he had taken Beth to Jack, hoping that Jack wouldn't be able to resist her. It had worked, and Jack had turned out to be a very good father. And now that she could see them together, Sam thought Beth seemed happy, and she looked clean and well cared for too. And though a part of her felt glad that Jack had accepted responsibility for their child, another part of her felt angry that he had been given another chance to be Beth's father, when he had wanted nothing to do with her from the start. She wanted to hate him for all the time he'd had with Beth, while she hadn't been able to see her, let alone touch her. It wasn't fair!

Jack walked half way to the bed and stopped, blatantly staring at the woman who sat there. He couldn't help it. It was like looking at a stranger, albeit a gorgeous one. Sam's hair was a lot longer now, with golden locks hanging down over her shoulders. And her face looked fuller and more rested than he had ever seen her look. In fact, she was the picture of health.

"Hey," Jack finally said. His greeting sounded casual, but Sam could see the anxiety and the doubt on his face. And his eyes, which always got very dark when his emotions were the strongest, looked almost black.

"Hello, Jack. I never thought I'd see you again," she said, meaning both of them, but Jack obviously took it very personally.

"You seemed okay with that even before you disappeared," he replied spitefully, and then he wished he could take the comment back. This shouldn't be about him and how defensive he was feeling. This should be about Beth and the fact that her mother was back.

"Sorry," he said, and then he looked at Beth. The child was staring at Sam with wide eyes, while sucking on two fingers, as she sometimes did when she was feeling uneasy…like the first day he'd taken her to play at the base day care center. He had done it so that she would have other children to play with, but she had been too afraid and spent the entire time clinging to him and crying. So after an hour he had taken her home. But the next day he had tried again, and that time she had lost her fear and had made a few friends. Now he wondered what she was thinking.

"Beth, look, it's Mommy," he said as he stepped closer to the bed. Sam held out her arms, but Beth turned around and clung to Jack, her sticky little hands gripping his shirt with a strength that surprised him, as she pitifully whimpered, "No!" "It's okay, sweetheart," Jack said softly, as he patted her back soothingly.

Sam dropped her arms. She felt like her heart was going to break in two. This was the thing she had feared the most. Her own daughter didn't remember her, and now all she could do was look at her and long to hold her. Tears were threatening to fall, so she grabbed a tissue out of the box on the bedside table and held it up to her face, as she tried to compose herself. The last thing she wanted to do was look weak in front of Jack. "I guess it'll take a while," was all she could manage to say.

"Ya, she'll get over it. So…where have you been?" Jack asked. He wanted to ask a lot more than that, but he figured it was a good place to start.

"It's in my report." She really didn't want to go into all of that again. She had already been questioned by General Landry and by a member of the NID, and even Carolyn had asked her a lot of questions. It was as though they didn't believe her, which made Sam feel defensive and stubborn. She wasn't going to explain herself again!

"Didn't anyone tell you? I'm not in the military anymore, so I haven't seen your report."

Sam's mouth fell open in shock, but she quickly recovered. "No, no one told me. How long?"

"I retired right after you went missing, so I could take care of Beth," he said, bouncing the child on his arm. Now she turned a curious face toward Sam. Then she looked at Jack. "Baba," she said, giving him a teary-eyed look.

"Just a minute, honey. She hasn't had breakfast yet. I'll take her out and feed her," he said as he nodded toward the door.

"No! I mean…could I watch you? You can sit over there," she said, her eyes traveling to the chair in the corner. She felt panicky, afraid that if he left, he might not come back.

"Alright. I just need to get her bag," he said, and then he left the room.

For a few seconds he just stood there in the corridor, taking deep breaths. Seeing Sam again had been much harder than he thought it would be, and not just because he had thought she was dead. Sure, that she was alive was a shock, but it was how well she looked, how beautiful and untouched by time, that was affecting him the most. What must she think of him? He was going to be 56 on his next birthday, and he definitely looked his age. Whereas Sam looked more like 31, rather than 41.

Jack's mind was still on how great Sam looked, when Daniel's voice broke into his thoughts. "You weren't in there very long. What happened?"

"Beth needs her bottle," Jack replied as he picked up the diaper bag.

"Oh. So everything's okay?"

"I don't think everything will ever be okay, Daniel," Jack stated. Then he went back inside Sam's room, leaving Daniel standing there with his mouth open.

As Sam watched, Jack gave Beth a bottle of juice, which she drank greedily, while keeping an eye on Sam. It was clear to Jack that Beth sensed his trepidation, so he tried to relax, even though his heart was pounding in his chest.

"So, you've been with Lord Yu all this time?" he asked dubiously. Since it seemed obvious she wasn't going to volunteer anything, he decided to question her.

"Yes," she answered simply. He was obviously having trouble believing that she hadn't been tortured or implanted with a symbiote, and she found Jack's doubts somewhat insulting. Maybe it was because she felt that Jack, more than anyone else, should believe her. After all, he knew her better than anyone on Earth!

"You don't look like someone who's been held captive by a Goa'uld for a year," he said, speaking his mind. Truth be told, he had never heard of anyone being held captive by a Goa'uld for so long, unless they'd had a symbiote put inside their brain. So he had to wonder why that hadn't happened to Sam.

"He didn't abduct me in order to question me…well, not in that way," she said. The confused look on Jack's face told her that she wasn't making herself clear, so she tried again. "What I mean is, he wasn't trying to get information about us…the Tauri. He just wanted…." How could she explain so that he would understand? "He just wanted companionship," she said at last.

Companionship meant one thing to Jack when it came to a woman like Sam; the old guy wanted to fuck her! Yu might have looked old and frail, but apparently he wasn't. "And so you just gave in? You don't have a bruise on you, Sam."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked hotly. She couldn't help it; she was getting angry now.

"I mean it's pretty obvious you didn't try very hard to get away. So what DID you do, just spread your legs?"

"Ja-ack!" Sam screamed at him, but her eyes were on little Beth, who was laying back in Jack's arms, enjoying her bottle.

"She doesn't understand," he said with certainty.

"You have no idea how much she understands. And even if she doesn't know the meaning of your words, she understands the tone of your voice," she said sternly. "But no, for your information I did NOT sleep with him. Lord Yu was very civilized, a complete gentleman the entire time I was there. I have to admit that at first I was puzzled, but after a while I realized he was just lonely."

"You expect me to buy that?"

"Yes, I do. You used to believe me, Jack. What's changed?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears. Now there was no way she could keep them from falling, so instead she turned her face away from him. But it broke her heart not to be able to see her daughter, so she dabbed at her cheeks and turned to look at Beth.

Now the child was sitting up, having lost interest in her bottle. Now she wanted to see the thing that was making the noise. "Wuz dat!" she cried, pointing at the heart monitor, which was pinging more frequently now.

Sam's heart had sped up as she became excited, and Beth wasn't the only one who had noticed. Dr. Lam came into the room, her eyes going from Jack to Sam. Then she walked up to the bed and stared at Sam. "Are you alright, Sam?"

"No, I'm not. I'm tired. I'd like to rest now," Sam said quietly, as she turned her face to the wall.

Carolyn patted Sam's arm, as she looked accusingly at Jack. "You can come back later, after she's rested," she said.

Jack knew it wasn't just a suggestion. So he picked up the diaper bag and quickly exited the room, without saying one more word to Sam.

The second Jack was gone, Carolyn addressed her patient. "This isn't going to be easy, Sam, but it will get better in time."

"How do you know that? Have you ever been forced to leave the people you love for a year, only to return and find that they no longer trust you?" Sam asked bitterly, as she glared at the young doctor.

"No, I haven't. I'm sorry, Sam. I don't mean to trivialize what you've been through…what you're going through. I know you're hurting. Just try to be patient…with both of them. He loves you. If you had heard him that day at your memorial ceremony, you would know."

"Jack spoke at the ceremony?" It wasn't like Jack to talk about his feelings, so Sam couldn't imagine him doing such a thing.

"Yes, he did, and afterward there wasn't a dry eye in the place. Give him a chance, Sam."

But Sam didn't believe Jack loved her anymore, and she wasn't sure she even wanted his love. He had hurt her too much in the past, and now it looked like he didn't trust her. Her main concern now was Beth and how she was going to win back her love.

"When can I get out of here?"

"You can leave just as soon as General Landry signs off on my recommendation."

"Which is?"

"That you be given two weeks to rest and put your personal affairs in order before returning to active duty here at the SGC."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Knowing that Daniel was somewhere on base, Jack hurried to the surface. He didn't want to talk about what had happened between him and Sam. He didn't even want to think about it. Seeing her had been even harder than he expected it would be, and he had said all the wrong things. He knew that now, but it was too late to take them back.

How could he have thought that she would give herself to that Goa'uld! She wouldn't, not even to gain her freedom! Sam was better than that! But then why hadn't she been tortured, or worse? Could her story be true? Could Yu have kept her alive just to have her company?

He had to admit that Sam was lovely to look at, and she was a pretty good conversationalist too, most of the time. He didn't always understand everything she said, but he knew other people did, and maybe Yu did. So, even though her story clashed with everything he knew about the Goa'uld, he tried to believe that what she had told him was the truth. But the more he thought about it, the more his doubts grew.

When he got home, he fed Beth cream of rice cereal and some peaches. He took the time to spoon feed her every last bit, rather than let her feed herself. And when she was finished, he cleaned off her face and hands and put her in the playpen with a few of her favorite toys. She was almost too big for the small space, and soon he'd have to let her roam free. And since he knew the dangers in having a toddler running around the house, he had already begun child-proofing the cabinets with hooking mechanisms that only an adult could release.

Jack was putting the laundry into the washer when he heard Daniel call out to him. So, after putting the fabric softener into the little dispenser and turning on the washer, Jack went to face what he was sure was going to be a tirade of accusations and reprimands from his friend.

When he walked into the foyer, Daniel was standing there looking daggers at Jack. "What the hell did you say to her?!"

"I don't want to talk about it," Jack replied as he made a sharp right turn into the kitchen. Daniel followed him.

"Well, you're going to, because I'm not leaving here until you do!"

"Butt out, Daniel," Jack growled, and then he moved to the refrigerator, where he got a bottle of beer. He didn't ask Daniel if he wanted one, since he didn't want to encourage the man to stay.

When Jack walked out the back door, Daniel followed him. He wasn't going to give up so easily. "Jack, Sam's going through hell! She thinks you don't trust her anymore, and it's killing her. You should know how much your trust means to her…has always meant to her."

"Ya? Then she shouldn't lie to me!" Jack shot back.

"Lie to you? Lie about what?"

"Daniel, isn't it obvious? She's lying to all of us. Yu had her for a year, Daniel, but there's not a mark on her. How do you explain that?"

"A sarcophagus? Maybe he put her in one in order to keep her alive, so he could torture her repeatedly. Sound familiar?"

"Then if he did, why won't she tell us? She's lying, Daniel, and that's all there is to it!"

"No, Jack, I can't believe that, and I don't understand how you can either. Has it really come to this? Are you really so hurt by what happened in the past that you doubt her word? Do you really believe she'd lie about something this important?"

Jack didn't say anything, so Daniel continued. "I think she's telling the truth. Think about it. We know that Lord Yu was the oldest system lord. We also know that he was held hostage by the Replicator who looked like Sam. Maybe he became fascinated by her back then and therefore he wanted to get to know the real Sam? Whatever his motivation, I believe he did keep Sam alive just for her companionship. He knew he was dying, Jack . If you could spend your last days with anyone, wouldn't you choose Sam?"

Jack could see Daniel's point, but his stubborn side wouldn't allow him to admit it. "Could you leave me alone for a while, Daniel? I need to think," Jack said, as he stared at the flowers in the garden. Sam hadn't always had time to replant the annuals, so her garden had often been lacking in color. But now he was tending her garden regularly, and it was looking great. And suddenly he wished she could see it.

He heard the door close, and he knew that Daniel had left. So he went inside and sat down in his favorite chair, which was next to the playpen. "I think Daddy may have made a big mistake," he said, and Beth looked up at him and giggled. Then she stood up and held out her hand to him. He bent down and pretended to nibble on her fingers, sending her into a fit of screeching and laughing.

Needing the solace that holding her could provide, Jack picked her up and sat her on his lap. "What d'ya say we blow this joint and go someplace fun?" he asked, and Beth clapped her little hands in understanding, for they had a way of communicating that didn't require words.

"Horsies!" she cried happily, and Jack knew exactly what she meant. Whenever they went to the children's park, the first thing she wanted to do was ride the merry-go-round. There were many other animals on the colorful ride too, but Beth's favorites were the horses.

"Yes, let's go see the horses!" Jack put a pair of coveralls, a long-sleeved shirt and a sun hat on Beth, and a pair of shorts and a clean T-shirt on himself, and then he put Beth in the stroller, along with her diaper bag.

Twenty minutes later they were at the park and headed for the carousel. He was in line buying tickets, when he heard a feminine voice address him.

"Jack, what a nice surprise!"

Jack turned around and came face to face with Kate, the woman he'd met in the grocery store. "Oh, hi! I was just about to take Beth on the carousel."

"Me too! I mean I'm buying tickets for my daughter and her friends. It's my daughter's birthday. We're having the party here in the park. You should join us for cake later."

"Oh, no, I wouldn't want to butt in." Jack loved cake, and this woman was very attractive, but he thought seeing her would only make his life more complicated.

"Nonsense! There's plenty of cake, and I'm sure the girls would love to meet Beth. Jessie, come and meet my friends!" Jessica and her friends gathered round the stroller, and the girls visited with Beth for a bit, while Kate bought the tickets.

Meanwhile, Jack checked out Kate's figure. Today she was dressed casually in jeans, a tank top and sandals, and with her hair pulled back in a pony tail Jack thought should looked no more than twenty. He knew she couldn't be that young, but he was sure she was at least 20 years younger than him, and suddenly he felt out of place.

He knew he looked old enough to be Beth's Grandfather, and that fact bothered him a lot. Never the less, Jack finally accepted Kate's invitation, not for himself but for Beth. She was enjoying being with the girls so much that he hated to end it. So, while the kids took Beth on the various rides, he and Kate sat on a nearby park bench and watched. Two hours later they had all eaten cake and ice cream, and now Jessie was opening her presents.

But now Beth was starting to get cranky, a sure sign that she needed her nap. So Jack bid good-bye to Kate and the girls, and then he pushed the stroller home.

As he changed Beth and put her down for her nap, he recalled his earlier conversation with Kate.

"You seemed upset yesterday when I called."

"I had just gotten some upsetting news."

"Is everything okay now?"

"No, actually it's not. Remember I told you my wife was dead?" She nodded. "Well, it turns out she's not."

"But that's wonderful news, isn't it?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Jack shook his head. He didn't know what to say or how to explain without telling her things she wasn't allowed to know. "Let's just say it's complicated."

She laughed a short, ironic laugh. "Believe me, I know all about complicated. I just lived through a messy divorce. If you ever need someone to talk to, or you just want to have some fun with no strings attached, call me."

Jack had told her he appreciated her offer, and he did. But he wasn't ready to make any decisions about his personal life just yet. First he needed to figure out how he felt about Sam. And there was the matter of their immediate future. Sam would be coming home soon, which meant he'd have to move out of her house, or figure out a way to stay there without making his life, or Beth's, miserable.

As for what would happen to their marriage, he had no idea whether or not they would get divorced. He wasn't really sure what he wanted to do, but he did know the decision wasn't going to be easy. He was worried how this whole mess was going to affect Beth. He didn't want to have to fight to see her. He thought maybe, if he showed Sam what a good father he was, she would share custody with him without him having to take her to court. So when Daniel phoned to say he was bringing Sam home later that day, Jack panicked and started cleaning the house like a man possessed.

Daniel pulled his car into the driveway and turned off the ignition. He intended to at least accompany her inside, but Sam turned to him. "No, Daniel. I'd like to go in by myself, if you don't mind?"

"No, of course I don't mind. I just thought maybe you might need a referee. Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Just try not to judge him."

"You can still say that, after what he's done?"

"Yes. Sam, he loves Beth, and he's a very good father. And I think he still loves you."

"He had a hell of a way of showing it when I told him I was pregnant!" she responded crossly.

Daniel didn't know what to say to her anymore, so he let her go in alone. But he sat there and watched until she was inside the house, wondering if he was doing the right thing.

Inside the house was brightly lit, as though she was expected. Sam had no doubt that Daniel had alerted Jack to her arrival, so that much didn't surprise her. What did surprise her was how good the place looked! Everything sparkled, from her Mother's crystal mantel clock and the small chandelier over the dining table, to the wood floors and the glass panes of the china cabinet. Clearly Jack had been preparing for her arrival, and suddenly she felt at a disadvantage.

Sam knew her hair looked messy. All she'd been able to do was wash it and let it dry naturally. It was quite long now, and the front kept falling in her eyes. Plus, she had no makeup on, and she'd had to borrow a pair of too-large jeans and a baggy T-shirt from someone on base. She thought she must look like a homeless person, albeit a clean one, and that wasn't the sort of entrance she wanted to make.

"Jack?" she asked, as she walked to the living room. But he wasn't there and neither was Beth. Next she looked in the kitchen, but no one was there either. So she went down the hallway to the bedrooms.

Sam found Beth asleep in the nursery, and for several minutes she just stood there, breathing in the baby-scented air as she gazed at her perfect daughter. It was like a dream she'd had many times in the past year. And more than anything she wanted to pick Beth up and cuddle her. But since she realized that such a direct approach might frighten the child, she quietly left the room, closing the door behind her.

The door to the master bedroom was closed, so Sam opened it, wondering what she would find.

Inside, the bedroom was tidy and clean, her Mother's quilt folded at the foot of the old oak bed which had belonged to her grandparents. Her family photos were there too, and her Grandmother's trunk, the one she'd brought from Sweden when she was just a bride. That Jack hadn't gotten rid of her cherished possessions tugged at Sam's heart strings, and a lump formed in her throat. Had he believed she'd come back one day? Or had he kept on using these things for Beth's sake? She wanted to know the answer!

But now the sounds she heard coming from the bathroom distracted her. And though she thought it might be wrong to go in uninvited, she couldn't resist.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Jack had just stepped out of the shower, when the door opened. His eyes shot to those of the intruder, and that was when his brain misfired and he was unable to think or move or do anything. For what seemed like an eternity he just stood there, holding a towel in one hand but not even trying to cover himself. It was HER voice, a sound he had missed more than he knew, that brought him out of his trance.

Sam stood there staring, her hungry eyes raking Jack's body for what seemed like hours. But then suddenly her brain rebooted. "Sorry! I didn't know you were in here," she said finally, lying through her teeth. She had hoped to see him like this. And now that she was seeing him…ALL of him, a part of her wanted to run to him and touch him, and let him do the things he had done to her years ago. Her body ached for his!

Jack almost laughed out loud at her lie, but instead he just smirked knowingly and started drying off. And he refused to turn his back to her. If she wanted to see him naked, then he'd let her! So he gave himself a brisk but thorough rub-down, while she just stood there watching. And as soon as he was reasonably dry, he threw the towel into the corner of the room and reached for her. If she wanted to see him, then maybe she wanted to feel him?

She was in his arms, and he was kissing her hard on the lips, before she could think to stop him. "No, stop it!" she cried, as she tried to wriggle free. But he wouldn't let go, his arms like vices around her body. And now his hands were under her clothes, one squeezing her breast, while the other slid down inside her jeans and grabbed her ass. His mouth was busy too, covering her face and neck with kisses, as he murmured passionate words of love to her.

"Oh, God Sam, I've missed you so much! I'm so happy you're alive! Please don't ever leave me again," he begged, his hot breath on her skin. At first he could feel her fingers digging into his shoulders, and he thought she was giving in, but then….

"No! Stop this!" Sam finally managed to break free, using her hands to push on his chest as she stepped back. Her chest was heaving now, and she felt like her body was on fire. But she knew these feelings were just sexual in nature. Her body had always responded quickly to his, but that didn't mean she should forget the things he'd done. It didn't mean she should forgive him so easily.

"I'm not here for you. This is MY house, and that's MY daughter sleeping in the nursery. I'm here for HER! I'll thank you to remember that!" she shouted. Then she stomped into the bedroom and began looking through the dresser drawers. She felt relieved when she found her underwear and other things almost exactly where she'd left them.

"I'm not the one who came barging in while you were taking a shower," Jack said accusingly as he strolled into the bedroom, his cock and balls bouncing as he walked.

Sam turned her face away, trying not to look directly at his genitals. But it wasn't easy to ignore him, especially when he was sexually aroused like he was now. She took out a pair of light weight pajamas and carried them over to the bed…anything to get away from him, away from the animal magnetism she felt radiating off his naked body.

"I didn't know you were in there," she repeated, but she knew her excuse sounded lame.

"Like hell you didn't!" Jack wondered why she'd done it. If she wanted to see him naked, to feel him pressed against her, she had succeeded. So why was she so upset? Didn't she know what she wanted?

He could feel her watching him as he walked to the dresser, and again he decided to give her a show. If she wanted to look, he would let her. Jack bent over and opened the bottom drawer, where he found a pair of sweat pants and an Air Force T-shirt.

While Jack got clean underwear from the top drawer, Sam clutched her pajamas to her heaving chest. Seeing his balls hanging down between his legs reminded her of times when she would have come up behind him and grabbed them. She had loved playing with his testicles and his ass too, and now she could feel her nipples swelling and her sex thrumming. Watching him was turning her on so much, that she had to bite her tongue to keep from begging him to take her right then and there! But she knew that would be a mistake. She couldn't trust him. That was what she had to remember. She couldn't let the memories of him making love to her blind her to what he had done!

"I think it's best if you sleep in the living room on the sofa, until you get a place of your own," she said with as much certainty as she could muster, and then she watched as he slipped on a pair of boxers and an undershirt. She couldn't help but notice he'd put on about twenty pounds, but the extra weight looked good on him. It certainly didn't make him any less appealing to her, and she had to fight hard to keep her mind from dwelling on how attractive he was. This wasn't about her sexual needs. This was about Beth and what was right for her! She needed a parent who loved her and would stay with her, not one who might leave when it suited him.

Her lust for Jack's body had always been her weakness, and she knew she'd have to fight hard not to let him take advantage of her. This was about much more than just sex! This was about their daughter's future! She couldn't allow Beth to be raised by someone who hadn't even wanted her to be born!

Sam felt relieved when Jack walked out of the room, taking one of the bed pillows with him.

As Sam lay in bed alone, she listened to the sounds of Jack getting the other things he needed out of the linen closet in the hall. Then everything was quiet.

The following morning Sam slept late, having had trouble falling asleep. And when she walked into the kitchen at 9 o'clock, Jack and Beth were not there. At first she panicked, but then she saw them outside on the back porch. Jack was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, and Beth was toddling across the grassy yard, stopping every now and then to pick a flower from the garden, or to investigate whatever attracted her attention. Sam filled the tea kettle with water and put it on the back burner of the stove. Then she went back to the window, where she stood there watching her daughter.

She knew children grew up fast, but the changes in Beth were still hard to believe. When she'd left, Beth was just beginning to stand up while holding onto things. Now she was walking and running! Suddenly Sam felt sadness overwhelm her, and she started to cry. She had missed so much of Beth's young life, and now Beth didn't even know who she was. More than anything else, missing out on Beth's development was the thing Sam regretted the most, and she could still recall vividly one of the conversations she'd had with Lord Yu about it.

"I wouldn't mind being here so much, if I didn't have a daughter. She's just eight months old, and I'm afraid she won't remember me when I get home."

She had never said IF I get home. She had always said WHEN, as though she would be going home one day, and Yu had never said otherwise. Perhaps she should have known then that he intended to let her go?

"You are young. You will have other children."

"I'm not that young. Actually, I'm near the end of my child bearing years, so I may not be able to have anymore children."

"I can help you. Your body could be made younger."

Sam knew to what he was referring, but she wanted no part of it. "No, thank you. I'd prefer growing old naturally."

"It is up to you. Anytime you wish, you may use the sarcophagus. You only need to ask me."

Finally she had given in and let him put her in the sarcophagus, and now she was as physically fit as any twenty-year-old. Now if she wanted to have other children, she could have them. But right now what she wanted more than anything was for Beth to love her again!

Sam wiped the tears from her cheeks, before going to the stove to make her tea. While the tea bag steeped in her favorite cup, Sam put some bread in the toaster. She had gotten used to eating regular meals while living with Lord Yu, a fact which she was certain would have made her late friend Janet very happy. For years Janet, who had been the base CMO, had urged her to eat more and to eat regularly, but she had always put her job before anything else. Some days she got so wrapped up in her work that she forgot to eat. But things were different now. Now her daughter was more important than anything else, and she wanted to stay fit for her daughter's sake.

After spreading butter and strawberry jam on the toast, she ate it while standing at the window, watching Beth and Jack. Then, before carrying her cup outside, she put her plate and knife into the dishwasher. The kitchen had been spotless when she entered it, and she wanted to leave it that way. In a way it surprised her to see that Jack was such a fastidious housekeeper. He took good care of Beth too, and for that she would always be grateful, but that didn't mean she was ready to trust him.

Outside the sun was shining brightly, and there were blue jays flying back and forth from the cherry tree to the bird feeder, which was attached to the corner porch post. The feeder hadn't been there before, so Sam assumed Jack had put it there. She stood watching the birds while sipping her tea. When she was finished, she put the cup down on the table, which was another new addition. The four matching chairs were new too, as was the gas barbeque sitting at the end of the porch. It reminded her of all the charred steaks Jack had fixed for her over the years, and the thought made her smile.

A loud squeal drew her attention to Beth, who was over by the back fence, standing in what appeared to be a vegetable garden. Jack wasn't far away, and when he saw where the child was standing, he hurried over and scooped her up.

"Hey! No standing on the strawberries!" Jack chastised her, as he swung her up into the air. Then he flew her around, making plane noises, while she giggled and squealed happily. After a minute Jack spotted Sam on the porch, so he carried Beth over and sat down on the steps, where he held Beth on his lap. He figured it was time for mother and daughter to get reacquainted, but he wanted to make it as comfortable for Beth as possible.

Jack picked up a small bottle and began blowing bubbles, using a little circular wand. Sam sat down on the same step as Jack, leaving two feet of space in between them. She didn't want to spook Beth, and she also didn't want to give Jack the wrong impression. She was there to let Beth get used to her, not so she could be close to Jack!

Beth grabbed the wand out of Jack's hand and tried to imitate Jack, without success. So he held her hand while he dipped the wand down into the bottle. Then he held the wand up in front of her mouth. "Blow!" he said, but she inhaled. "No, do it like this," he said, and then he blew in her face. She giggled, but she got the right idea, and this time she blew at the wand, but not hard enough. "Blow harder!" Jack coached. She circled her little lips and blew, and he blew with her. And then they watched as a huge bubble formed and dangled from the wand. Beth laughed and poked her finger into the bubble. It burst and she shouted, "Bubble! More, Daddy!"

Sam sat and watched as Jack and Beth blew bubbles, all the while wishing that she was the one holding her. She wanted to reach out and take Beth from Jack, but she was afraid to, afraid that she'd be rejected again. So she just sat there, feeling left out.

Suddenly the telephone rang inside the house, and without thinking Jack set Beth down on her feet and got up. "Here, Mama, it's your turn," he said, as he handed Sam the wand and the bottle of soapy liquid.

Sam felt her heart start to race, as Jack disappeared inside the house. Beth was standing just a foot away, staring at her expectantly, and Sam wondered what would happen next. Would Beth cry and beg for Jack to come back? Would she run after Jack? Would she ignore Sam and wander off on her own? Sam didn't have to wait long for her answer.

"More bubbles!" Beth demanded, giving Sam a blue-eyed stare. So Sam dipped the wand into the liquid, trying not to get too excited about the fact that her daughter was now leaning closer to her. She even had one small hand on her knee!

When Sam held the wand in front of the child's mouth, Beth blew hard and a bubble formed. Beth had blown a bubble all by herself! "Good job!" The big bubble popped then, and Sam dipped the wand again. "Blow again, honey!" Sam told her in an encouraging voice, and little Beth did as she was told, and soon a whole string of small bubbles was floating through the air, and Beth was shrieking and clapping her hands joyfully.

"More!" Beth shouted, clapping her hands together. Sam loaded up the wand, and once again Beth blew hard, and once again a string of bubbles erupted from the wand. "More bubbles, Mama!" Beth shouted this time, and Sam almost fainted.

Sam smiled till she thought her face would crack. Her heart felt lighter than it had in a long, long time. Beth knew who she was, at least as much as an 22-month-old child could know, and Sam was in heaven! But now she wanted to hold Beth, but she was still afraid to make the first move. Instead, she handed Beth the wand and let her dip it and hold it by herself. And while the child concentrated on the bubbles, Sam gradually moved the child over until she was standing in between her legs. Then Sam leaned in close and inhaled.

Memories of all the months she had held her daughter close suddenly came flooding back. Nothing could ever smell as sweet or as pure as her own dear child! Overcome with joy and regret, tears rolled down Sam's face. Sam tried to wipe them away, but Beth noticed.

Beth stopped playing with the bubbles and gave Sam a sad look. "Don't cry, Mama. I kiss it an make it better," she said, and then she puckered up her tiny lips and kissed Sam on the mouth.

Sam was so unnerved and so shocked by Beth's actions, that she wrapped her arms around the child and started bawling like a baby. And that was how Jack found them.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"I'll take that," he said as he grabbed the bottle out of Sam's hand. She had spilled some of the bubble mixture down Beth's back, but he wasn't really concerned about that. He was just worried that Sam might be scaring Beth.

Sam straightened up and let Beth go. Then she tried to dry her face with her hands. But that wasn't working, so she got up and ran inside the house, leaving Jack and Beth standing there staring after her.

"Mama!" little Beth said, pointing the bubble wand toward the door.

"Yah, that's your Mama alright. So, it looks like you guys have made up, huh?" Jack asked. Then he picked Beth up and followed Sam into the house. In her room he sat Beth down on the changing table, where he removed her damp top. He figured the bubble stuff would wash out. After all it was just soap, but he didn't want her wearing anything wet.

So after changing her diaper, he put a clean top on her. Then he took her to the kitchen, where he began planning their dinner. First he made a mixture of soy sauce, pineapple juice, fresh ginger, fresh garlic, brown sugar and rum. He was going to marinade chicken in half of the mixture, before grilling it with bell peppers, onions and pineapple slices. The chicken and vegetables would then be served on top of steamed white rice, which he would drizzle with the remainder of the soy sauce mixture.

Once he got the marinade prepared and had immersed the boneless, skinless chicken breasts in it, he covered the dish with plastic wrap and put it into the refrigerator. Now he wanted to see if Sam was okay. So, since Beth was busy feeding herself some turkey sausages and cooked, diced carrots, Jack went to find Sam.

Jack knocked on the closed bedroom door. "Sam?"

"Yes?" she answered, her voice a bit muffled.

Jack opened the door and went inside. And when he saw the open bathroom door, he walked toward it.

"Are you hungry? I thought I'd make us an early lunch. I'm planning a big dinner tonight. Daniel and Teal'c are coming over." Daniel had called earlier to see how things were going, and in a moment of weakness Jack had invited the guys over for dinner.

"Tonight!" She couldn't imagine why Jack had invited them to dinner on her first night home. She felt it was too soon.

"Yes. I didn't think you'd mind. So…uh…are you hungry or not?"

"No." Food was the last thing on her mind just now. She hated that he had seen her break down again. She had tried never to appear weak in his eyes, not when he was her CO and not after they were married. Now it seemed like she cried about everything. She wondered if her emotional state could be hormone related. She was not on birth control and hadn't been years, not since before she found out she was pregnant with Beth. Maybe she needed to take something to level out her emotions? She would definitely have to ask Dr. Lam the next time she saw her. But right now she had to stop being such a baby. She was acting worse than Beth.

Jack went back to the kitchen and fixed himself a tuna salad sandwich, which he ate with corn chips and a Coke. He was seated at the kitchen table next to Beth, who was still in her highchair. But now, instead of eating, she was playing with the remains of her lunch. Several pieces of carrot and sausage were already on the floor, but she wasn't done playing yet, and now Jack's mouth was her target.

"Here," she said, holding a piece of carrot in her fist. Jack opened his mouth and let her shove the carrot in. Then he picked up a piece of carrot and tried to put it into her mouth, but she shook her head. "No! Don wan no more," she insisted.

"Okay. Just don't drop anymore on the floor, please." He never felt sure that she was eating enough, but Dr. Lam seemed to think she was healthy, so he tried not to worry.

"Mama!" Beth announced, looking toward the hallway. Jack turned around, surprised to see Sam standing there.

"Hey! If you're hungry, there's some tuna salad in the fridge."

"I told you I wasn't hungry. Where are my keys and wallet? I need to go to the store." She hadn't been able to find her shampoo or any body lotion, and her mascara and liquid eyeliner were dried up.

"I can take you," he offered. He thought it might be good for them to do something together.

"No, I can drive myself. But I would like to take Beth with me."

"Why?"

"Do I have to have a reason? She's my daughter!"

"Okay. Your purse is in the closet in a box on the floor." Jack could tell that Sam was getting irritated. And since he didn't want to argue with her in front of the baby, he decided to give in. So he removed Beth's bib, cleaned off her face and took her out of the high chair.

In the bedroom Sam was changing into jeans when Jack walked in carrying Beth. Sam looked up and sort of froze, while holding her jeans in front of her like a shield. "Oops, sorry! I'll go get her dressed," he said as he did an about face. He was beginning to feel like he was living with a stranger. The Sam he remembered never cried…at least hardly ever. And she had never been so disagreeable either. This Sam cried a lot and seemed to be ready to jump on him for every little thing.

"I think Mommy's still mad at me," he said as he put socks and shoes on his daughter's small, plump feet. She hated shoes, so he remembered to add the little locking thingies with the bells on them. That way she wouldn't be able to untie them. And if Sam let her walk around, she would be easier to find.

But now the more he thought about Sam taking Beth someplace on her own, he was worried. What if she took her out of the stroller? What if Beth wandered off? What if someone took her? Sam wasn't used to having a baby who could walk. Now Jack really wanted to go along, but he knew insisting would probably piss Sam off, so what could he do?

Sam found the box of purses and shoes at the back of the closet and took out the purse she had last used. Sure enough her keys and wallet were in it. But now it occurred to her that her debit card and credit cards were probably no good. So, even though she didn't want to, she had to ask for Jack's help. She found him in Beth's room, working her arms into a sweater.

"Eh…my debit and credit cards…were they cancelled?"

"Oh, ya, they were. I better come with you," he said, and then he put Beth into her arms and rushed out of the room.

Jack was elated! Now she couldn't refuse to let him come. So he quickly changed into blue jeans and his favorite blue linen shirt. He was ready in three minutes, and when he met Sam and Beth at the front door he as relieved to see that Beth was accepting Sam more and more. Sam had put Beth's sweater on her, and Beth was chattering happily as Sam talked to her about the bunny rabbit on Beth's shirt. Pleased that they were bonding, he let Sam put Beth into her car seat, while he put the stroller into the trunk.

"Where do you want to go?"

"The mall would be good. That way I can buy some new underwear too. I've gained a little weight."

"I noticed," he said innocently, but her expression indicated that she wasn't very happy about his comment. "And it's in all the right places," he said, amending his remark. But instead of showing any sign that she forgave him, Sam simply turned her face away.

Sam thought it was just like Jack to try and sweet talk her, especially after what he'd done in the bathroom. So she wasn't about to let him off the hook so easily.

Ten minutes later they arrived at the shopping mall. And after Jack unfolded the stroller, Sam put Beth into it, while Jack got the diaper bag out of the car. Then they started out.

Jack felt at loose ends as Sam pushed the stroller. But when they reached one of the stores where Sam wanted to shop, she let him take over, while she looked at the bras and panties. Now he was happy. He enjoyed seeing the looks on people's faces when they saw Beth. She was a beautiful little girl, and he was very proud of her.

They were in a store that had always excited Jack. He could recall shopping here with Sam several times before. The store's specialty was ladies' underwear, and the dressing room stalls had these partial doors that were open at the top and the bottom, and he had loved looking over the top, watching Sam try things on.

Back then he had handed her things that he wanted her to try on, and then she had modeled them for him. But he had a feeling she wouldn't be that cooperative today. Never the less, he was enjoying watching her make her selections. And he couldn't help but notice the size of the bras she was choosing. She had worn a 34B before, but now she was selecting size 34C! So she had put on weight, but in the right places!

Sam could feel Jack's eyes following her as she selected the things she wanted to try on, and she felt uncomfortable.

"Why don't you take Beth out into the mall? She must be bored in here."

"No, she's fine," Jack replied, lying. Beth had one foot up on the seat, and she was trying to unfasten the seat belt, and he knew it wouldn't be long before she started yelling. But he really didn't want to leave. This place was like a wonderland of erotica! Just looking at the lacy, satiny bras and panties was a real turn on! And even though he knew he shouldn't, he couldn't help but hold up a pair of panties that had attracted his attention.

"How about these?" he asked, as he held up the red lace thong.

Sam took one look at it and frowned. "You've got to be kidding!"

"Why? It's great!"

"Great by your standards, maybe. You've never worn one of those thing. Now wait here, while I try these on," she said, and then she turned and headed for the changing room. She hoped he would just stay outside in the store, but when she shut the door and looked over the top of it, he was standing right there. "What are you doing?"

"I thought maybe you might want my opinion."

"Not a chance," she replied firmly. "Go out there, or stand back by the wall."

Just then Jack heard a familiar voice, and he suddenly wished he could disappear. But it was too late. She was coming his way!

"Do you have these in a size four?" the voice asked. The store clerk and the woman talked back and forth for a minute, and then the owner of the familiar voice walked past him, to the door of the stall right next to Sam's. She went inside carrying several black lacy things, and as she turned to close the door, she noticed Jack.

"Good heavens! If I didn't know better, I'd think you were stalking me," Kate said as she smiled at him.

"I get around," he mumbled. And since the last thing Jack wanted to do was attract Sam's attention, he didn't say another word. But Kate wasn't about to let him off the hook so easily.

"Do you shop in here very often, Jack?" she asked, in a teasing voice.

"No, not anymore," he replied, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"Well, then it must be fate," she said, and then she closed the door.

Jack was sure Sam had heard them talking, so he looked up to see what Sam was doing. To his dismay, she was looking over the door, straight at him, and the expression on her face was not a pleasant one.

It wasn't long before Kate opened her door and asked, "What do you think, Jack?" She was dressed in a black satin bustier, matching panties and a garter belt, an outfit that made Jack's eyes bug out. He thought all she needed was a whip to complete the picture.

"Uh…they look nice," he replied nervously. Kate smirked at him before closing the door.

As though there was an alien bad guy chasing him, Jack pushed the stroller out of the dressing room. Then he paced back and forth in the store's main display room, while Beth played with his cell phone. He really wanted to get out of there before he had to introduce Sam to Kate. So he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Sam walking toward the checkout counter. He rushed up to her and handed over his credit card.

Her purchases were in bags, and he was signing for them, when he realized Kate was standing right behind them. The two women stared at each other.

"Oh…uh…Sam, this is Kate Ryan. We met at the grocery store."

"And don't forget the park on my daughter's birthday," Kate added, grinning at him.

"He does get around," Sam said. "I'm Sam, his wife."

"Yes, he told me about you. You were missing and presumed dead."

"Yeah, that's me," Sam replied cheerlessly. "Military. You know how it is," Sam added.

"No, but I'll take your word for it. Well, welcome back!"

"Thank you."

Jack and Kate said good-bye, and Jack was glad when they finally got outside. But his feeling of relief didn't last long.

"So…was the park your first date?" she asked, as she walked beside him. He was pushing the stroller, while Sam carried a bag in each hand.

"No. We're not dating. We barely know each other."

"And yet she invited you to her daughter's birthday party."

"I wasn't invited, not at first. I took Beth to the park, and Kate was there with her daughter, Jessie and her friends. We sat and talked and watched the kids play, and then we had cake and ice cream."

"You talked? About what?"

"About you, my job in the Air Force, Beth. Just stuff."

"And what happened at the grocery store? Did she ask you to squeeze her melons?"

"Very funny. Actually she asked me to go to a dinner party at her house," Jack admitted.

"The first time you met her?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"Uh huh. Apparently some women think I'm hot," he said, as he put his sunglasses on. Then he ruffled the hair on the top of his head, making it stand up straight. He knew how it drove her crazy…or at least it used to.

Sam felt like hitting him, but instead she ignored his preening. "So…did you have a good time at the dinner party?"

"I didn't go."

"Yeah, right."

"I didn't! Beth had a runny nose and a cough, and I didn't want to leave her with a sitter. Otherwise I would have gone," he said, even though he knew that wasn't the truth. He wouldn't have gone, because he wasn't over Sam. And now she was alive, and she was here, but she didn't want him. Life was so unfair!

"I wan ice keem!" Beth suddenly shouted, when they pushed her past the ice cream parlor.

"Later, honey," Jack responded without thinking.

"What about the other times? Did she come to my house, or did you meet her at some hotel?" The thought that Jack had made love to another woman in HER bed was making her see red!

"No! I told you, I am NOT dating her!"

"No, you're just sleeping with her."

"I am not! I barely know her!"

"I suppose she always shows her underwear to men she barely knows. You must think I was born yesterday, Jack. Why don't you go wait in the car, while I get the rest of the stuff I need. I wouldn't want you to run into anymore of your lovers," she remarked harshly.

"Why do you care if I have someone else? It's obvious you don't want me anymore."

"Stop trying to blame this on me!" Sam shouted. "Give me your damned credit card and go wait in the car!"

Jack was really angry now! There was no way he was going to wait in the car like a dog! "We'll be in the ice cream parlor," he said hotly, as he handed her the card. "You can come and find us when you're ready to leave."

"Fine!" she shouted. Then Jack pushed the stroller in one direction, while Sam marched off in the other.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

While waiting for Sam, Jack had time to think things over. He realized that the thing with Kate had looked a bit suspicious. And he didn't really mind if Sam was jealous, but why wouldn't she admit she still wanted him? Did she really care more about hurting him, than she did about saving their marriage?

Sam had left in a huff, so he didn't know what to expect when Sam walked into the ice cream parlor about an hour later. "Do you want anything?" he asked in a conciliatory tone of voice.

"No. We should go. Daniel and Teal'c will be there soon," she said, as she stood next to Beth. She wiped off the child's face with a paper napkin, while Beth tried to cram the last maraschino cherry into her mouth. Red syrupy goo ran down her chin, and Sam wiped it off.

"No they won't. I called them and told them you weren't up to it," he told her, as he lifted Beth out of the high chair.

"Why? I feel fine! Now they'll think something's wrong with me! Give me your cell phone," she demanded, holding out her hand.

"Why?"

"So I can call them and tell them to come over."

"No."

"Jack, I don't want them thinking there's anything wrong with me, or that I don't want to see them."

"Tough! I already canceled dinner. They've probably made other plans by now." He didn't believe it, but he didn't want to give in to her either. "You can have them over some other time, after I move out," he suggested, as he buckled Beth into her stroller. Then he pushed it outside, moving fast. Sam gathered up her purchases and hurried along after him, talking as she walked.

"When will that be?" she asked. "I'd like to get on with my life."

"I don't know exactly."

All the way home they didn't speak to each other, and then Jack worked outside in the garden until the sun started to set. And even though he wasn't hungry, he grilled the chicken so it wouldn't spoil. He also cooked the rice and vegetables. He figured he would eat later, after he cleaned up, and Sam…well, she could do as she pleased.

Once his chores were done, he checked on Beth, who had conked out on the way home from the mall. She was still asleep in her crib, so he took a shower and put on clean comfortable clothes. Then he got some of the grilled chicken, rice and vegetables, and a beer and took his dinner into the living room, where he settled down in his favorite chair in front of the TV.

He didn't know what Sam was doing, and he didn't really care. He was mad at her for being so damned confusing! Most of the time she didn't seem to care what he did, but then suddenly she had turned into a jealous shrew. Jack didn't get it, and he hated feeling so confused, especially when it came to his emotions. He hated how just one look from her could make him feel so small and insignificant, or so hot for her. He hated that she couldn't see the good father he had become. He hated that she'd lost respect for him, and that nothing he did seemed to make any difference.

He was trying to lose himself in a hockey game, when Sam came into the room.

"Jack, I can't live like this." She felt he was giving her no choice. She had to ask him to get out, before she went nuts! "I want you to move out this week. You should go out tomorrow and look for a place to live," she suggested, trying to appear calm. Inside she was shaking. This was the hardest thing she'd ever done, but she knew she had to do it.

"What about Beth? Am I just supposed to leave her here with you?"

"I'm her mother," she replied. To Sam it was obvious the child belonged with her.

But Jack didn't see it that way. "And I'm her father! I won't let you keep me from seeing her!"

"You can see her, but you have to visit her here. I don't want that…that woman anywhere near her!" she said fiercely. She had wanted to call Kate a whore, but she'd thought better of it. She knew how angry Jack could get, and she really didn't want to face him when he was out of control.

"I told you, I'm not seeing Kate…or any woman."

"That's not the way it looked to me," she said and then she put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "So…you'll move out this week?"

"Yah. I guess." He wasn't really agreeing. He just wanted her to leave him alone, so he could think about what to do next.

"Good!" she exclaimed, and then she turned on her heel and left the room.

Jack watched silently as Sam flounced out of the living room. Then he sat there for a few minutes, until he was seething inside. He wasn't used to Sam speaking to him with so little respect, and his ego was telling him to do something about it. He was no longer her CO, but he was still her husband, damn it!

And she wasn't being fair! He had proved his love for Beth. He was a good father. Everyone said so. And Beth obviously loved him, so why was she being such a bitch? He had a bad feeling about moving out. If he did, she might try to keep him from seeing Beth altogether. Besides, he didn't just want visits with his daughter; he wanted to raise her! Somehow he had to make Sam see that their daughter needed him….that SHE needed him!

Suddenly he realized that he wasn't over her, that no matter how much she pushed him away, he would Never be over her. He was like a moth drawn to a flame, and with every step he took she was burning him, until all he could feel was pain!

Without knowing what he was going to do, he got up and took his dirty plate and the beer bottle into the kitchen. Then he looked in on Beth. Laying on her back with her hands laying open up by her head, she looked peaceful and undisturbed, and for that he was thankful. He didn't want her to be affected adversely by their arguing, and that was one reason he knew he needed to leave. But that didn't mean he was going to leave without a fight!

He stood outside the master bedroom now, considering his options. Sam had kicked him out of their bedroom and told him to sleep on the sofa, and like a whipped dog he had agreed. But now he was having second thoughts. Why should he sleep someplace else? He was still her husband, and as such he had a right to sleep with her. In fact, he had a right to do a lot more than that!

By the time he got to the bed, he was feeling so angry that he wasn't thinking straight. He didn't know what he was going to do next, but he had a strong desire to show her that he wasn't going to let her push him around anymore. And then, seeing her body laying there, bathed in moonlight, her pale limbs sticking out from under the sheet, he felt a stirring in his loins, and he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

'Look at her laying there. She looks like a God damned heart attack waiting to happen! But I don't care. I want some of it. I want some of HER!' his libido cried.

Sam heard Jack open the bedroom door, and she saw his dark figure walk into the room. She froze. She had seen Jack O'Neill lose his temper quite often when they'd served together, and they'd even had words a time or two, but he'd never really gone ballistic on her before. So now she wondered how far he would go.

"Can't we talk in the morning? I'm tired," she said as calmly as she could.

"I don't wanna talk anymore," he said in a deep voice, and then he knelt on the bed next to her hip, and Sam knew she was in trouble. Even in the dimly lit room, she could see his dark eyes staring at her. She recognized that look, and her heart started to race.

"Nooo," she begged, but her plea sounded weak and ineffectual even to her. She might hate the things he'd done to her, but she wanted his body. That was one thing she couldn't deny. So, when he fell on her, his hands everywhere at once, Sam was unwilling to stop him. He had always had a way of making her forget everything when he touched her like he was touching her now, and this time was no different.

When Sam had begged him so pitifully to stop, Jack's libido had crowed. 'You've got her now, my boy! Go for it!' And so he did, making fast work of his sweat pants. And after yanking up her short, cotton nightgown, he was inside her in the blink of an eye.

His intrusion had been rushed and somewhat painful for her, but soon her body was reacting to his as it always had, and she was sopping wet and her body was humming like a well-tuned engine. And as he moved, she couldn't resist moving too, grinding her clit against his rock hard shaft.

Jack rode her hard and fast, not caring if she had time to come. But she did anyway, clawing his back with her nails as she climaxed around him. And then he was coming inside her, his cock spurting semen into her body for so long that he thought it would never stop. Apparently his body had been saving up for just this moment. And when he was finally finished, he felt exhausted, and he wanted nothing better than to stay where he was and sleep.

But it was clear that Sam had other ideas. "Get off me," she said, pushing on his chest. So he lifted up and out of her, before rolling over onto his back on the bed.

"Get out!" she ordered, having regained her composure. She hadn't wanted this to happen, and now she was feeling angry again, mad at herself as much as at him.

Jack knew this was not the time to try and talk to her, so he pulled up his sweat pants and left the bedroom, not bothering to shut the door behind him.

The next morning Jack intended to speak to Sam about their brief but fiery encounter, but something happened which prevented it.

He was seated at the kitchen table, looking through the newspaper rental ads, when Sam rushed in carrying her jacket and purse. Because of what had happened last night, he hoped he could change her mind, but in the meantime he thought he should at least act like he was looking for a place to live.

Jack watched as she put her things down on the table and went to the fridge, where she took out a bottle of apple juice. She poured some into a cup and snapped the lid on. Then she handed the cup to Beth, who was still enjoying her breakfast of blueberry pancakes. She liked to eat then with her fingers, and now her hands and face were stained with blueberries and sticky with maple syrup.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Sam said as she leaned over and kissed the top of Beth's curly, blonde head.

Beth held up a piece of pancake. "Here, Mama!"

"No, thank you. Mama's not hungry."

"Where are you going?" Jack had fixed the pancakes for all of them, but only he and Beth had eaten any, a fact which made Jack wonder just how far Sam would go to irritate him. How could she pass them up, when his blueberry pancakes were so awesome?

"I have to go to the base," Sam said as she slipped into her blue jean jacket.

"You have to go NOW?" he asked in disbelief. He had heard her answer the phone earlier, but he never dreamed it was Landry asking her to come back to work. What the hell was wrong with the man?!

"Yes. There's a problem with the stargate," Sam explained.

"But why do YOU have to go?"

"I just told you. There's something wrong with the stargate," she said in an exasperated tone of voice.

"So? They got along just fine without you for a year."

"I don't question my CO's orders, Jack. You should know that by now."

"Yah, like you never questioned MY orders!"

"I didn't!"

"What about the time I told you not to see that glowie guy anymore without telling me?"

"Oh for heaven's sake! You'll never let me live that down, will you?"

"Stop changing the subject! You disobeyed a direct order, and that wasn't the only time."

"Stop it, Jack. This isn't about me following your orders. This is about you wanting to seduce me into taking you back. I admit I lost control last night, but it won't happen again. I'm leaving now. Don't let Beth have anymore sweets today. Oh, and I expect you to find a place to live ASAP. I want you out of here by the end of the week," she stated, and then she grabbed her purse and rushed out the front door.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Sam was gone the rest of the day, and by 20:00 that evening Jack was starting to get worried. So he called the base, but he was told that Colonel Carter could not come to the phone. And when he asked to be connected to General Landry's office, the airman offered to take a message. But Jack didn't want to leave a message. He wanted to speak to his wife! So he hung up, feeling very upset and angry that this was happening now. It seemed like they just couldn't get a break.

By 23:00 Jack was very worried. He was about to try the base again, when the phone rang.

"Jack, it's me. It looks like I'm going to be needed for a while longer…a few days or longer. I want you to take care of Beth for me while I'm away."

"Of course I will!" Jack all but shouted. Once again Sam was hurting him to the core. Didn't she know by now that he loved Beth and would always take care of her? What sort of person did she think he was?

"I have to go now. Tell Beth I love her," she said, and then she hung up.

Jack just stood there for a long time, his anger building. A part of him wanted to believe that she was only doing her duty, but the other part felt she was doing this out of spite. Didn't she realize they needed time together, to work things out between them? Wasn't their marriage more important than her career?

"I guess it isn't," he said aloud, but there was no one there to hear. And since he was feeling sad and alone, he went and stood beside Beth's crib, watching her as she slept.

Six days later on a distant planet….

Sam had never seen this type of technology before, and she had no idea how she could stop what was happening here. But Colonel Cameron Mitchell, who was in charge of SG-1 now, seemed to be expecting her to pull a miracle out of her ass.

"I thought you were Landry's whiz kid?"

"I don't know what you've heard, but I'm no miracle worker."

"Then I guess we better get going. We've got a long walk to where the ship can pick us up," Mitchell said, as he gathered up his gear.

"But we can't just allow the Ori to take over the planet!" Daniel said, pleading his case with Mitchell.

"Daniel, they've chosen their own path. If they want to believe what that pasty-faced freak tells them, I say let them!"

"They've been brain washed. It's just like what the Goa'uld did to the Jaffa," Daniel reasoned.

"Daniel's right," Sam agreed sadly. Now most of the powerful Goa'uld system lords were dead or run out of the galaxy, and she had believed that freedom from such tyranny was possible. But now it looked like there was another menace out here, one with some very powerful technology, the likes of which she had never seen before.

"He may be right, but we were sent here to negotiate a deal for the Naquadah, not to give these folks religious instruction. Carter, can you get the gate to work or not?" It had worked fine when they came here, but after the guy in the long robes appeared, the stargate had only worked long enough for him to send an SOS to the SGC.

"I don't have any idea why it won't work," Sam admitted. Since she and the members of SG-2 had arrived, via the Prometheus, she had been unable to figure out why the stargate on the planet would no longer work. The DHD worked just fine, and all the chevrons locked into place, but then nothing happened. And now, thanks to the energy weapon the Ori priest had aimed at the Prometheus, the ship had taken a position many miles away to avoid being hit again. So unless they walked hundreds of miles, they could not ring up to make their escape.

"That was so not the answer I wanted to hear," Mitchell drawled. "Come on, let's get going before he blows this shack to kingdom come," Cameron ordered, and then he shouldered his pack, and ran from the quaint looking house. Keeping low, the others followed him.

Jack had phoned the base many times in the past ten days, but each time he had been given the same story; "Colonel Carter is working and can't take any calls." And Landry's answer had been just as evasive. "She's busy, Jack. I'll tell her you called."

It seemed pretty clear to him that Sam was more interested in her career than she was in saving their marriage, so Jack decided to get on with his life. He was tired of being alone and lonely.

"I didn't expect to hear from you," Kate said when she answered the phone.

It had taken him days to get up the courage to call her, and now he was still not sure he was doing the right thing. But damn it, he wanted a woman in his life, and not one he had to walk on glass around, or one who disappeared at the drop of a hat!

"Yah, well, my life has been sort of a mess lately. Listen, if you don't want to get involved with a guy like me, I totally understand," he said. He considered hanging up. This just didn't feel right.

"Hey, let me decide that, will you? Now, you called me, so what did you have in mind?"

"Dinner tonight at my house? I thought maybe you could bring Jessie along. The girls can play, and I can fix us something. I'm a pretty good cook."

"A handsome man who cooks too? Wow, how did I get so lucky? There's just one thing….I'm almost afraid to mention her, but doesn't your wife have something to say about who you invite to dinner?"

"She's gone. I mean she has to work. She won't be here." Jack knew he wasn't explaining things very well, and again he thought this was not a good idea. After all, now that Sam's legal status had been corrected from dead to alive, they were still legally married. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

"I'll be there! How about five: thirty? That way the girls will have plenty of time to play before Beth's bedtime."

"Yah, that's a good idea. Okay, see you then!"

Jack tidied up the house, and then he set to work, planning what he would fix for dinner. It had to be something the girls would like, so he decided on a chicken and dressing casserole that Beth loved. It had peas and carrots in a thick gravy in it too, sort of like a pot pie without the pie crust. After he mixed the ingredients together and piled the dressing on top, he turned the oven to 300 degrees and put the covered dish inside. Then he went to the nursery to check on Beth. He was relieved to see that she was still napping. It meant he had time to shower and shave.

By the time he was cleaned up and dressed in a clean shirt and jeans, Beth was awake, so he changed her and put her in a cute new shorts and top outfit that he had bought a few weeks earlier. Usually when they were at home and the weather was warm, which it was today, he just let her play in her diaper and a T-shirt, but he wanted her to look nice for their company. He even tried to do something with her hair.

Her fine blonde hair was getting long, and soon he'd have to decide whether or not to have it trimmed. He hated the idea of cutting it, because for the first year of her life she hadn't had much hair. Now it hung down below her shoulders. And today her naturally wavy locks seemed to have a mind of their own, so he finally gave up and stuck two barrettes in it, just to hold it back from her face. He thought it looked better than the usual pony tail or puppy dog tails, but Beth didn't like the barrettes, and before Jack could stop her, she pulled them out.

Jack was wrestling with her, trying to get her to hold still while he put the barrettes back in, when the doorbell rang.

"Screw it! I guess they'll just have to like you for your winning smile," Jack said as he carried her to the front door, on of the barrettes clutched in her little fist.

"Hi! I hope we're not too early," Kate said upon seeing Jack's frown.

"No. We were just having an argument about hair styles. Come on in," he said as he stepped back to let them in.

Kate grinned at him, but she said nothing. It was Jessie who broke the ice.

"Can you put her down so we can play?" she asked.

This was the first time Beth had ever had company close to her own age, and he was a bit worried as to how she would react. So he set her down on her feet with some concern, and then he watched as his daughter took Jessie's hand and said, "Come pway in my woom!" The two girls ran off, giggling, and Jack's worried frown changed to a smile.

"They grow up so fast, don't they?" Kate remarked.

"Boy, I'll say! Uh…how about a glass of wine while I finish fixing dinner?" he asked as he took her purse and their sweaters and hung them in the front hall closet.

"I'd love it." Kate followed him and watched while he opened a bottle of Chardonnay. Then he poured some in a stemmed glass and handed it to her.

"Make yourself at home. I just need to make the salad." Jack started getting the salad ingredients out of the fridge. He figured she'd probably take a look around the house, or check on the girls, but instead she walked up behind him and put her hand on his back. Bent over as he was, he felt a bit nervous. When he straightened up, she stepped back to the kitchen counter and smiled at him, and he got the impression she was testing him.

"I have a feeling you haven't dated much recently."

"You're right. I was married for almost twenty years, and then Sam and I….well, we knew each other for a long time before we got married."

"So…you're practically a virgin," she said, rolling her eyes as she smiled.

"Well, I wouldn't say that exactly, but when it comes to dating…." He shrugged. "I guess I'm a little out of practice," he admitted.

"Then I guess I should help you….put the salad together, that is," she said, and then she grinned.

"Drink your wine, woman, and let me show you what I can do," he said, giving her a smug smirk, his meaning clear.

"I can't wait!"

The dinner turned out to be a hit with the girls and with Kate, and by the time they were finished eating and the girls were sitting together on the sofa watching a Disney movie on TV, Jack was feeling much more confident. So when Kate offered to rinse the dishes, while he stacked the dish washer, Jack decided it was time he showed her more than just his ability to cook.

After wiping his hands on the dish towel, he moved over behind her as she wiped off the dining table, and then he put his hands on her waist and stepped up to her, until he could feel her ass pressing into his groin. And when she straightened up, he nuzzled her long hair away from her neck before kissing the spot he had bared.

Kate bent her head toward his, purring, "Ummm, you sure know how to cook."

Jack spun her around and kissed her full pink lips, as he moved his hands from her waist to her ass. She had a very fine ass. In fact, he thought her proportions were a lot like Sam's.

Jack let go of Kate and stepped back. 'Damn it all to hell!' Thinking about Sam made him stop and consider what he was doing and why he was doing it. He and Sam were still married. He still loved Sam. Did it matter that Sam didn't love him? No, it didn't! Even if Sam didn't give a fuck about him, it wasn't right for him to be romancing another woman in Sam's house.

He realized then that he was just trying to get back at Sam for hurting him. But Kate would get hurt too, if he went through with this. So he had to put an end to it now, before it was too late.

Jack could see that she was confused by his actions, and he couldn't blame her. "I'm sorry. This just isn't going to work. The truth is, I still love my wife. I guess I wanted to do this just to prove to myself that I still have what it takes to attract a woman."

"You're doing this to hurt your wife."

"Yah, I think I am."

"Then I think she's a fool. Any woman who would hurt a man like you, doesn't deserve you."

"I don't think Sam would agree with you," he said. He knew she probably wanted an explanation, but he didn't see any point. "Let's just say it's complicated. I think we should call it a night."

After Kate and her daughter left, and Beth was in bed asleep, Jack got a beer out of the fridge and took it out into the back yard, where he stood looking up at the stars. He had often done the same thing, wondering which ones were planets where he'd been. But then one day Sam had informed him that none of the planets they'd gated to could be seen from Earth. He hadn't often paid much attention to the scientific things she'd talked about, but now he wished she was here, reciting each and every little thing she had ever tried to explain to him. He would gladly listen to all of it, if only she would just take him back!

He finished his beer and put the bottle in the recycling bin by the garage, and then he went inside. He thought he'd go to bed early for a change, and then in the morning he'd take Beth to the zoo in Denver. She loved animals, so he was certain she'd enjoy it. And maybe doing something different would help take his mind off Sam.

During the night Beth woke up crying, and just by touching her flushed, damp skin, Jack could tell that this was not just a minor ailment. So he phoned the SGC and told them he was bringing Beth in. He also told them to notify Sam.

Due to Beth having the same rare blood condition as Sam, he figured taking her to the SGC would be the wisest thing to do, so he drove there as fast as he could, while Beth sat in her car seat whimpering. All the way there he talked to Beth, trying to sooth her by telling her that her mother would soon be with her, but nothing seemed to help. And by the time they reached the infirmary, she was sobbing into her blanket.

When they reached the infirmary a nurse took Beth out of his arms and carried her in to be examined. Dr. Lam was there too, but she stopped to speak to Jack. "Give me a few minutes alone with her, and then I'll let you know what's going on," Carolyn told him.

"I've got to tell Sam. Do you know where she is?"

"I know she's off world, but other than that, I can't tell you anything," she said, and then she went into the ward room.

Now Jack began pacing up and down in the corridor, his mind racing with thoughts of Sam and everything that had happened between the two of them since she'd been released by Lord Yu. It seemed like nothing had gone as he'd hoped. She didn't trust him or respect him, that was obvious. And she didn't seem interested in repairing their marriage, even though she had obviously enjoyed having sex with him. So what did that mean? Had she just missed having sex with a man? Surely she hadn't been that desperate! And now she was off on some mission again, and she hadn't even had the decency to tell him!

Before he realized how much time had passed, it was twenty minutes later and Carolyn was standing in front of him.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, yah, sure," he said, shaking his head to clear it of all his confusing thoughts. "How is she? Is it serious?"

"It can be. She has pneumonia."

"Oh, no!" Suddenly he felt responsible for everything that was going wrong. He had rejected Beth even before she was born. Was this some sort of punishment?

"I have her on an antibiotic drip. It was good that you brought her in as soon as you did. Has she been coughing much?"

"No, not much this week. But she did have a runny nose and a cough last week. I thought it was just because she's cutting a tooth." He prayed that he wouldn't lose her, as he had Charlie, that this wasn't some sort of punishment doled out by a vengeful god. He had tried to be a good father to Beth, but maybe that didn't make up for rejecting her before she was born? Maybe there was no way for him to make up for the mistakes he'd made?

"Well, try not to worry," Carolyn said as she patted his arm. "I'm sure we caught it in time. She should be able to go home in a day or two. In the meantime, I think you should stay here with her, in case she wakes up. This place can be frightening."

"Of course I will!" He wouldn't dream of leaving her, not here or anywhere!

"Good. I'll have someone bring a rollaway bed. We're putting her in room 12, just down the hall. Oh, and we don't have any cribs, so we'll have to figure out a way to keep her from rolling out of bed."

"Just give me a bunch of blankets, and I think I can take care of that."

Inside room 12 Jack pushed the hospital bed over to the wall. Then he rolled up the blankets and lined them down both sides and across the top and bottom of the bed. He didn't just want to keep her from rolling out. He also wanted to keep her from hurting herself if she rolled into the concrete wall.

Once Beth was in bed, he made up his bed on the opposite wall, where he could keep an eye on her. The doctor had given her something to help her relax in the strange environment, and now she was dozing off.

"Go to sleep, sweetheart. You'll feel better soon," he assured her, and then he kissed her plump, pink cheek. She still felt hot, and he felt sorry for her having to go through this without her mother at her side. Apparently she missed Sam too.

"Mama?" she asked, whimpering pitifully.

"She'll be here soon, honey. Now go to sleep. Daddy will be right over there in that bed."

"No. You stay here," she said very plainly, as she held onto his sleeve.

"Alright. But just until you fall asleep," he replied, and then he pushed her over so he could lay down beside her.

Worn out from worry, Jack soon fell into a deep sleep.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Beth had fallen asleep with her face pressed against his chest, right over his heart. But sometime during the night she had rolled over onto her tummy, and now at 5:00 her breathing sounded loud and labored. Jack moved her onto her back, and then he went out to get a drink of water. He was surprised when he saw Carolyn coming out of her office.

"Jack, how's she doing?"

"I'm not sure. Her breathing seems to be louder, and she's still hot. I'm worried," he admitted.

"Let me take a look at her," she said, and then she hurried back into her office to get her stethoscope, while Jack waited. He followed her into Beth's room then, watching while she listened to Beth's lungs. When she was finished, she shook her head. "The antibiotic should have helped by now, but it hasn't. I'll have to try a different one."

Carolyn hurried out of the room and was back two minutes later with a small bottle and a syringe. She quickly administered the antibiotic, and in doing so she woke up Beth, who immediately started crying. "Sorry, sweetie, but I had to do it," she said, as she patted little Beth's leg. "I think you should hold her. I don't want her getting too upset."

Jack picked Beth up and walked back and forth with her, and it wasn't long before she stopping crying. And since the room wasn't equipped with a comfortable chair, he piled blankets up against the wall and sat down with his back against them, while cuddling her to his chest.

He sat with her all that day and the next and the next. At 5:00 on the third morning he was just getting back from a quick shower, when he heard the klaxons sounding, and the sergeant on duty announcing that there was in incoming wormhole. Naturally, since no one had been willing to tell him anything about Sam's whereabouts, Jack wondered if it was her team returning from their mission. So first he made sure Beth was still asleep. She was, and after making certain the blankets were in place to keep her from rolling off the bed, he crept out of the room and headed straight for the elevator.

The SG teams had walked for three days, until it was safe for the Prometheus to get close enough to the planet's surface to use the rings. Then they had flown to the Alpha base, where they had been able to gate home.

Along the way she'd had time to think about how terrible her life would be without Jack in it. She missed him more than she could say, and she finally realized that he was the good person she had always believed him to be. Not many men would have changed their lives so drastically in order to take care of a baby, but Jack had done just that. And he had expressed his love for her too. Therefore he deserved another chance. So now all Sam wanted to do was get home and see her daughter and Jack.

Sam had just gotten through turning over her firearms to the Marine on duty, when she saw Jack standing in the corridor just outside the blast doors. She rushed over to him.

"Jack! Why are you here? Is Beth okay?"

"No, she's not. She's in the infirmary," he told her, and then he took her hand and looked at her lovingly. "Sam, I'm so glad you're alright. I couldn't stand losing you again." She smiled at him, knowing she was right to forgive him, and then they hurried hand-in-hand to the elevator.

Only Daniel charged forward, eager to know what was happening. He caught up with them at the elevator, where he hopped on. "Jack, what's going on?" Daniel asked.

"Beth has pneumonia."

"Pneumonia! I wonder where she got it," Daniel said, and Jack's mind immediately went to the week before when Beth had played at the park with Kate's daughter, Jessie, and her friends. Was that when she'd caught the bug?

"Well, don't worry. Antibiotics should knock it right out," Daniel continued, smiling cheerfully. Jack felt like punching him. How the guy could always be so damned cheerful was a mystery to Jack, who frequently found that life was way too disappointing and unfair to smile about. This was definitely one of those times. He hadn't wanted Beth at first. Now she was like a part of him, a part he couldn't live without, and he prayed he wasn't going to lose her.

When they reached Beth's room, Daniel wished them well, before he headed toward Carolyn's office. Jack and Sam went inside, where a nurse offered them masks, which they put on. Then the nurse left them alone with Beth.

"Beth's gonna be just fine. You'll see," Jack said for Sam's sake, as he looked down at their sleeping daughter.

"She looks so small," Sam said as she brushed a lock of hair out of Beth's eyes. Next she touched the baby's cheek, and then she turned a relieved face to Jack. "She feels a little warm but definitely not hot."

Jack felt Beth's forehead. Sam was right; she was definitely cooler. Feeling relieved, Jack pulled Sam into his arms then and hugged her. "I'm really glad you're here, Sam." Sam didn't pull away, and for that Jack felt grateful and somewhat optimistic. He needed her now, maybe more than ever before.

Behind them the door opened and Carolyn Lam walked in. "Sam, I still need to do your physical."

"Okay." She turned and looked up at Jack. "I'll be back as soon as I can," she said, and Jack let her fingers slowly slip out of his.

"I'll be here," he replied, hoping she understood what he really meant. He would always be here for her and Beth, no matter what she decided to do about their marriage.

Sam was back, poked, prodded and showered, in under an hour, just in time to see Beth open her eyes. "Mama, Daddy!"

"Yes, sweetheart, we're both here, and we'll stay here with you until the doctor says you can go home," Sam promised. "Now go back to sleep," she said softly. Beth closed her eyes and Sam tipped her head back and looked Jack in the eye. "I'm sorry," was all she said, and Jack gave her a puzzled look.

"For?" he asked quietly, raising both eyebrows inquisitively.

"For not trusting you. For being so hard on you. I know you love her. And I understand why you were afraid to have her. I've been wrong to blame you, but you should have had more faith in yourself. You're a really great father. You always were," she declared, knowing he would understand what she was telling him.

"What happened to change your mind?"

"YOU changed my mind. I saw how you are with her. I saw how much she loves you and how devoted to her you are. And when I was away this time, I realized I missed you just as much as I missed Beth."

"Wow! Then I guess I'll have to let you go off world from time to time, so you'll appreciate me more when you come back."

"No, I won't leave either of you ever again." Sam motioned for him to move to the other side of the room. She didn't want to disturb Beth.

"You won't?" he asked as he sat down on the rollaway bed next to her.

"No. I'm going to retire. I've given twenty-three years of my life to the Air Force. I think that's enough."

"Hey, I'm okay with you staying in. Don't quit and then blame it on me!" he said, more loudly than he intended. Sam held a finger to his lips.

"Shhhh! Jack, relax! I won't blame you for anything anymore. I want us to be together all the time, not just occasionally when I can get away from my job. I want to enjoy raising our daughter with you, and I want to grow old with you," she whispered.

"I hate to tell you this, but I've got a head start on you in that department," he said, frowning.

"Stop it! Stop worrying about your age!"

"I'm not worried. Just stating a fact."

"Well, forget the facts," she said, as she tugged on his shirt collar. Then she pulled down her mask and his, leaned in and gave him a short kiss on the mouth.

"Mmmm, I don't want to forget the facts, Sam, 'cause the fact is, you make me feel young. If you want, I could show you how young I feel when I'm around you," he suggested, smiling and wagging his eyebrows at her.

"Here?!" Sam wasn't sure if he was joking or serious.

"Sure, why not?"

"Because, first of all I don't think this bed would hold the two of us. Second, I wouldn't want Carolyn or anyone walking in on us."

"Then I think it's time we got one of the nurses to sit with Beth, while we go have a quick fuck in the storage room."

"Jack O'Neill, you are incorrigible!"

"Yep! And that's one reason you love me."

"Yes, yes, alright. Now come on before I change my mind."

Using Sam's access key card, it didn't take them long to find a place where they could be alone together. Jack could barely wait to get her pants off, before he was pushing her down on the desk in his old office. He'd never used the office much back in the days when he was a colonel, but now it was coming in very handy.

With her hands gripping the cheeks of his ass, Sam opened her legs wide as Jack filled her like a stallion in the breeding barn. Just as she'd always been, she was impressed by his strength and his staying power, and this time she came so hard she nearly blacked out.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed, putting one hand to her face. She suddenly felt a bit dizzy.

"You okay?" he asked, as he stopped moving. He really needed to come, but now he was more worried about Sam. She looked a bit pale.

"Uh…I'm not sure. Carolyn said I'm alright, but I feel funny."

Jack pulled out of her and helped her sit up. Then he arranged his clothes and helped her get dressed. And by the time they were back in the infirmary, his erection had gone away. Now he was wasn't horny. He was just worried about his wife.

"Carolyn, I need to talk to you," Sam said the instant she saw the doctor.

"And I need to speak to you…to both of you. Sam, you're pregnant."

"I am? But how can I be? We've only had sex once since I got back from Lord Yu's palace."

"Twice," Jack said under his breath, but Sam chose to ignore him.

"Besides, I'm almost forty-two," Sam replied. She knew the sarcophagus had made her look a bit younger, but she had never really expected this.

"Yes you are, but you're also in very good health," Carolyn assured her.

"I guess I just thought we were too old to have anymore kids, at least not without a lot of trying."

"Hey, I may be a bit out of practice, but my guys still know what to do. Just give 'em a chance and they're in there doing their job!" Jack bragged, as he punched the air with one fist.

"So it would seem. So…you're happy about this?" Carolyn asked, looking directly at Jack.

"Yah, sure, you betcha!"

"You ARE?!" Sam asked. After what had happened the last time, she was very surprised by Jack's reaction.

"Sure! It'll be great for Beth to have a little sister or brother. Besides, having kids keeps a person young," he said, running his hands through his hair. He was preening, and Sam thought he was so cute!

"If you get any younger, I'll be raising three kids," Sam said, and then she put her arms around Jack's waist and hugged him. He was so dear, and at last she felt like they were on the same page.

Jack smiled to himself, happy in the knowledge that their marriage was not only saved; it was even better than before. He had been afraid that a baby would ruin what they had, that he'd make some horrible mistake that would end catastrophically. But Beth had turned out to be the thing that kept them together, instead of the thing that tore them apart. Their lives WERE going to change now, but for the better. Soon there would be another little O'Neill, and he'd be the father of two children, and Jack couldn't recall ever being this happy.

"I don't know about you, Jack, but I'm hungry," Sam announced.

"Sure, I could eat," Jack said. "How's Beth?"

"Her temperature is normal, so I'd say it won't be long before you can take her home. Captain Sims is with her now, if you want to go have something to eat. Well, I've got rounds to do. I'll see you two later," Carolyn said, and then she hurried off.

Jack and Sam headed to the commissary to have breakfast, and on the way there they discussed what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives, or at least until the kids were grown. Sam was surprised to find out that Jack had something very unusual in mind.

"Where will we live?" she asked. Now that neither of them would have ties to Colorado Springs, they could live anywhere they wanted.

"I think we should move to the cabin."

"To Minnesota!" She knew how much Jack loved the old house by the lake, but she was worried that it wasn't the right place to raise a family.

"Sure, why not?"

"Do you think we can? I mean it's so far away from everything, and it's so small."

"We'll home-school the kids, and I can add on a room or two. Growing up where the air is clean and where they can learn about nature first-hand will be great for them!"

"Yes, I agree, but… I don't know, Jack. Do you really think we can make it work?"

"I have faith in us, Sam. Together we can do anything. I feel it! I know it!" he crowed happily. For the first time in a long, long time, Jack was feeling positive about life, and he knew it was all because of Sam and Beth. And now they were going to have another baby. He was one lucky son-of-a-bitch!

"Okay, then let's do it!" Sam cried happily. Suddenly she didn't feel worried. Suddenly it felt like old times. Jack was planning the mission, and she was prepared to follow his lead. Things were once again as they should be.

THE END


End file.
